wormwood

Oh no! I step away from the forum for a couple weeks and I return to find that Mistress Chan is currently away? Her active and energetic participation here on the guest forum was one of the major motivations for me to dive in with the Fortress. Her words are an inspiration to budding subbies. I dread not seeing more of them. Here's hoping for her speedy return...

For me, the anticipation was indeed nerve wracking. I was nearly overcome by concern that I would not do it 'right' when the time came. Would I know what would please Mistress? I was entirely uncertain of what to expect and what would be expected. I had an idea of my own of what would be 'proper'. As is so often the case with such extrapolation, my own take on it was pretty far from the actuality of the encounter. What I thought was expected of me was not the case at all. (Well, some of it was true, but largely, I was way offbase.) Now, in addition to the worry, the expectation of pleasing Mistress did also bring a good deal of gleeful euphoria that I latched onto in my nervous expectation. My best advice is to realize that in this thing, there is no 'right' or 'proper' way to approach it. What is proper will be determined once you have weathered the wait. Don't beat yourself up over it. That will be Mistress' job, later. :twisted: Seriously, though, from what I've gathered here on the forum, Mistress Chan can be quite welcoming and forgiving for your first Fortress experience.

To begin, I am a beginner. Not entirely without experience, but drastically minimum. My questions are for both the mistresses and the submissives here on the forum. What makes for a good slave experience? To the subs, what modes of conduct have brought your most successful experiences under a mistress? And perhaps more importantly, which have failed? It is easy to imagine complete compliance and deference as successful choices of action. But it would be good to know some of the pitfalls others have come across, as well. To the dommes, what behaviors and attitudes in a slave please mistresses most? What do you most prize? How can a slave ensure that you will welcome him back to crawl on hands and knees for your pleasure, again? Also, how have slaves displeased you, before? To both, how can a truly devoted submissive keep things on track when not kneeling before his mistress? What can be done "outside the fortress wall" as it were to retain the silver cord of submission at one's neck? What remains with a good slave of his mistress' wishes when the leash is not directly bound? What pleases most for a domme to hear upon the return of her possession about his time away? As I said, I am not merely another curious observer into the BDSM world, but I am woefully untrained. Having read through much of the forum, here, I see that there is much for me to learn and find out about. It would be greatly appreciated of those who would share some of their experiences, both good and bad, particularly about the beginnings of slave-mistress relations. The groundwork from which truly dynamic submission and domination arise is what I ask you to help me identify.

Lovely Mistress Chan, Your words here and in other threads have struck and marked me like the lash in your hand. Thinking of having the chance to experience your biting affections and caring affliction for the first time brings a shiver of near unbearable anticipation deep in my core. The very thought of you causes all else to leave my mind, no matter what my previous mental activity, bringing visions of your touch, both painful and otherwise. Your beautiful body is etched into my mind's eye, standing powerfully before me, with a look of total control and possession on your incredible, expressive face. I can only humbly hope that the smile of satisfaction you speak of would be one I can bring about. I rightly tremble in fear that some action or response of mine might bring down the unbearable touch of your displeasure, though I would bear the unbearable for you, to show the truth and depth of my devotion. All these things run incessantly through my being whenever I consider the possibility of meeting and seeing you, Mistress Chan. I thank you wholly and fervently for possessing such space in my mind.

Whatever the position of deference, for this sub, the anticipation that builds in those moments cut off from contact with one's mistress create an amazing energy that cascades down upon the moment of connection. The eyes are an incredibly powerful conveyor of energy and information. When a mistress allows her slave to make that connection and project his devotion through it, the mirror of your statement is shared by the sub. When the mistress looks and says with her eyes that the slave's submission is worthy of acceptance and testing, that is the moment when the slave wants nothing but his mistress' will. That is the moment when the slave becomes her acquisition.

First and foremost, for me, is attentiveness. With that awareness will come the trust that is so vital on both sides of the equation. The more attentive, whether harshly or otherwise, the more humiliating and damning the punishment when that attention is retracted for misdeeds. The more aware, the more willingly is devotion given. Further, as some have said, an acceptance of the slave's devotion as a thing to be rewarded and/or appreciated. The beauty of subbing is not merely in being made to feel less than nothing. But rather the wonder of going to that place of least self and then being appreciated by one's mistress for the fact. Harsh she may be, but there must be some chance of pleasing her, however difficult that may be. And she's got to be a crackshot with the whip.