ConsentOptional

Used to go to Our Lady of Victory on Ash Wednesday when I worked around the corner. It had the same nearly shattering efficiency as the rest of Wall St, 20 minute mass and on your way. But always a fascinating day in discovering the breadth of humanity that called themselves catholic, even if only on that day. (almost wish there was a perv equivalent day of open self-acknowledgment, but for another time..) This has been a great thread. Shows the earnestness everyone brings to that elevator ride. Anyone considering becoming a dominatrix should read it, likewise anyone wondering if he has what it takes to submit. Sure, there is a commercial aspect to a session. But that can be said of dining, concerts and a lot of other activities that make us feel most alive and human. It's the fool who only sees the commercial side of it. Knowing the price of everything and the value of nothing, as Oscar Wilde would say.

I mentioned this to the guy who is self-conscious about his weight. It's a win/win. Maybe win/ouch/win. But something with wins on both ends.

Hydration = good for bondage; supple skin, less prone to numbness. Diuretics (coffee, alcohol) have the opposite effect.

I'm quite the little prom queen about the whole thing. No sexual relief of any kind for about a week. Sometimes enforced by chastity. Sometimes no key. I like to arrive hungry, so to speak. Start drinking extra water on the days beforehand. Better for handling strict bondage. Bondage is my 1st love. I never work on session days. And never session less than 2 hours - except in the case of a "wrap-around." I arrange it so that not only do I have little to do on session day, but I don't have to do anything afterward. My sessions can be a bit jarring psychologically. I don't want to have to be "on" afterward; or in any event I don't want to have to guarantee it to anyone. I arrive with no hair down thair. Touched up on the morning of session day. Enema a few hours before session. Shower one hour before leaving. Very little appetite on the day of a session, always rather anxious. So I usually stick to protein shakes or the like. Usually at least an hour beforehand. If the Mistress has given me instructions for session day, I would have checked those early in the morning and took a last look before leaving. She may be controlling me from the moment I wake up in some manner. It's a matter of preference. I don't place many restrictions. After the session I always seem to take a long walk - though I don't plan to befhorehand. Everything seems alive and interesting. Architecture, old people, pigeons, trees, the most prosaic shop windows. Takes me about an hour to get home on public transportation. After the session build-up, the session itself, the sense that everything is dazzling afterward and a long walk - I'm usually exhausted and sleep like a two year old.

Here ya go, Dannyboy

Disagreeable travel options with Watney's Red Barrel.

Quagmire vs Brian.

Started trying to tie myself up by the time I was 5 or 6. Nothing sexually precocious about it. But clearly I had fetishized the idea of immobility and vulnerability. Coercion was added to it later. But in my earliest memory of it, it was devoid of any darker thought (dominance, discipline, etc.) There was something strangely benevolent about it. And no matter what happens to me in a dungeon, when it is good, it continues to register as strangely benevolent. Even if I can't sit down on the train on the way home.....

Bondage, latex, and dirty talk when a and b are combined. From there it has snowballed.

Humbling rather than humiliation. Simple, sustainable bondage in utter helpless vulnerability. One or more limits extended or taboos broken. A voice honey-dripping in my ear that my debauch and defilement is belongs to her and will go on indefinitely. An ominous ending. Marks that I will see the next day when I ask myself if that really happened.

Being submissive was always incongruous with the rest of life, so I always doubted it or thought of it as a phase or an itch to scratch. It began to unravel when a dominatrix tied me to a chair and made me wear an article of her clothing, which was on my "no thanks" list. In addition to making me wear it, she made a point of showing me how hot she could make me in the process. Change wasn't an overnight thing, but it was a crack in the edifice of presumed self awareness. What else was I wrong about.. I continued to have zero interest in sissies, sissification, etc. But I loved the explicit control - "I will even decide your gender in my presence." That control was the drug I wanted, manifest however it was manifest. Chastity soon followed. Same thing - erotic control. Then stricter bondage, then intentional rather than incidental marking. Finally you have to decide that you are just a sick puppy. Or that this is part of the balance of your life and needs to be treated with some care and deference - or you will become a sick puppy. You meaning me.

I like things that go beyond dungeon walls. Little or large reminders of who is who and what is what. Especially remote control - physical or psychological. It's rare though. Obviously I can be marked (avatar) so that's one thing that travels outside the dungeon. Chastity is another, though there again actual locking sans key is fairly unusual. Being locked is less of an issue during the professional day; more of one off-hours when combating slutty urges can be disturbingly edifying.. The "fetish" itself is a combination of things adding up to a benevolent dictator. it's therapeutic stress release, and that has been the tone of it at FF. I'm a midwesterner, fairly shy by nature and doing something during the day that feels like an out-of-body experience. Stress builds until I shoot a note to Ms Emma, which I will need to do soon. Once the door opens, the world where anything depends on my say-so is gone. I am usually tied down within minutes (not your typical therapist that way). It's a 2 hour oasis and much-needed. I fantasize that she will snatch me off the street one day if I wait too long between visits. Now that's a caring therapist, if you leave out the part where you are shackled in a cage and thoroughly violated for your tardiness. All by way of saying the fetish dovetails pretty well with the other parts of life. And can go further than it has.

The Night Nurse. Curing me of the disease of resistance little by little.

For the squeamish, which has to be in the upper 90%s.... Locks Locks More locks. Not a permanent solution. But looking down in the shower in the morning and seeing a lock with someone else's name on it for which you don't have the keys... It's certainly permanent until Mistress says it isn't.

I haven't had a safeword in my sessions at FF. Not that it has been refused to me, but that hasn't been the direction of things. It has been more toward psychological control and self-revelation or self-acceptance. Processes that wouldn't be interrupted by me indicating I didn't wish to continue. An empathic Mistress is what I need. Sometimes empathy will take the form of mercy, sometimes it will take the form of making me continue. But for those for whom a safeword is a significant feature of the Domme/sub relationship, I would question the motivation behind asking to remove it. Some are working out trauma from an unseen closetful of experience. And you'd have to ask why they want to remove the barrier between themselves and the raw experience of torment. Misogyny and other dysfunction may be lurking in the background. Maybe not. Maybe it's just the thrill of letting go. But just as it takes a lot of trust for the sub to go without a safeword, it takes a lot of trust for the dominatrix to agree.

It does seem hot. And the idea of wearing something and knowing she used it and how she used it, that she used it to make you beg. Very fetishistic.

Yeah that was their only shot. But very doable. Must be hard to swallow now that they just needed a 3-and-out and they could have got a ring. Not the first team to pass when they should have run on NE. Ask Marshawn Lynch. I thought they actually got too far ahead. Took their foot off the gas. They might've played better if it stayed within 10 points and kept their offensive rhythm. At 25 up, they just disappeared.

If Atlanta had held their ground after the Jones catch @ the 22 and kicked a fieldgoal - 31-28. Ah well.