atlhiker

10) Also dont take a shitty scene or one not going well for granted, you have the right both to a good scene and your safeword for a reason.

1) When figuring out which domme to see do not use your cock. Use your brain. Choosing based on beauty is a lousy idea. 2) Consider whether you want D/s, fetish or both in your scene. Most of my worst scene have come from not making this clear. 3) Consider whether the domme you are interested in has the technical skills to do the activities you like. Even simple things like canes or floggers can be done well or poorly. 4) Figure out what mood you want to leave the session with. By this I mean not during the moment but after how do you want to feel. 5) Clearly state your aftercare needs. Sadly most pro-dommes do a very poor job of debriefing their scenes and do not include this. My one experience at FF was better in this regard. 6) Consider whether you want to build a long term relationship with one domme or see many, there are advantages and disadvantages to both approaches. 7) The style of what you want has to mesh with the dominant ask explicit questions about this. For example many dominants want a submissive to be relaxed putty, Im stiff as a board, this creates bad scenes. ? Recognize the mental not physical mismatches are far more likely to lead to bad scenes. 9) Consider carefully your hard limits and what they really mean to you and are they truly hard.

I highly recommend setting dominance and submission aside for the first few sessions and just use them to explore various types of sensation play that the dominant you see has skill in. The second is to look for and do mental work to find your core or kernel kink, which means looking for what emotional state do you tend to want to inhabit during and after your scene. Finally, recognize this is not a competition. Plenty of subs on this board and others have been playing for years, its not about the number of cane strokes or needles, its about connection for most.

As a question/challenge, if you had to use or receive only one single toy or implement for an entire hour what would it be? As a top my choice would be a flogger as it is so versatile in the amount of pain it can cause, the fact it can also serve as a lasso, blindfold, and can be used on virtually any part of the body. As a bottom my choice would probably be the same or alternatively rope since it is also so versatile.

Good sustainable exposed bondage is fun,though i think cuffs and spreader bars are easier to work with than ropes.

I wonder how many men can actually achieve this degree of flexibility to sustain this more than a couple of minutes. I know I sure could not.

Lots of folks will list communication but to me that breaks down into three pieces. 1) Being an effective negotiator of a scene. This is what most pros Ive played with struggle at. Usually because its too brief, too driven by a limits list, and not focused enough on what emotional drive the submissive/bottom has that has led them there. 2) In scene communication. Getting the right amount of this is tough, some people want to talk it through the whole time, others a no safeword environment. 3) After the scene, too often this is an orgasm, a hug, and a goodbye. At least for me, you have to let me in and see that you really enjoyed it, or not be afraid to say that we are mismatched. Nothing turns me off faster than people acting. The other thing that to me is crucially important is to actually know what you are good at and whats not your specialty. Especially when it comes to objects that cause pain. Finally, a scene that is well paced. There is nothing worse than having the scene peak too early or too late. I find sine wave scenes much better than those heading to a mountain top and then back down.

Since Mistress Rey asked, My session was scheduled effectively and efficiently by Miss Ree even accommodating the fact that it was a bit last minute, a mistake on my part, but otherwise seamlessly. It is nice to find a dungeon where someone knowledgeable actually answers the phone unlike many other places. My arrival at the dungeon was a few minutes late due to the horrible traffic in from where I live, but Miss Katz was agreeable and I made it in about five minutes late. I have to commend FF on their security pre-cautions though I find them honestly a bit cold, but I suppose in NYC necessary. After a brief negotiation, another mistake on my part, we got down to the nitty gritty of the session which included flogging, whipping, electro play, and some bondage, and spanking. The session was two hours in length, which is a good length I think, and there was no clock watching, a habit that while I suppose needed at times, is always aggravating. The room we played in was well equipped, and any missing equipment brought in promptly. As for my feeling about the session through faults of my own it was nothing spectacular, though it was not bad neither, just no real great feeling of chemistry, or of Miss Katz really seeming to feel like she could do what she wanted as opposed to what I suggested. I would give the Fortress another chance, provided I could have quiet time or dinner with dominant before hand.

Thank you to Miss Ree and Mistress Katz for the introduction to the Fortress this evening.

@Mistress Rey: I have sessioned before at a variety of dungeons/professional dommes, and play in my personal life as well. My pro experiences have generally been ok to poor, mostly depending on the degree that the dominant understood that I take this and my role seriously and Im not interested in acts, artifice, or games. To use one example you see a lot of times the scene where the Mistress might propose that the slave cant speak and then the Mistress asks questions in order to punish the slave either for speaking or failing to ask questions. I find this sort of thing silly, if the dominant wishes to do corporal play, simply say I enjoy spanking and flogging my subs are those within your limits? If yes then proceed, if no then change of activity. @ConsentOptional-it was not intended to be bitchy but if it came off that way, my fault. I think much of this has to do with that Im submissive in the power exchange sense of that word meaning I wish to give up decision making authority and thus dont much care what specific activities are involved as long as the dominant enjoys them. (I do have limits of course) Ive found that generally many dominants who take on a bitchy tone, or feel that they have to wear latex do so because these are tools that help them create the submissive moment for people, hence why many dominants enjoy acting, they view it as creating a specific moment in time. But Im already there on the mental level.

Good afternoon everyone, I am considering having my first session at the Fortress and trying to figure out who might be the right dominant for me. I am looking for a session where the dominant really crafts the session inside my limits without much input from me, and seeks to do what gives her pleasure. Im also looking for someone who plays happily without a lot of artificial I am Mistress hear me roar type of bitchiness. Any thoughts on who might be best on this are most welcome, Thank you, Hiker