This is a very interesting topic but two questions keep coming to mind: 1. Is this really intimacy that we are talking about? 2. What role does sexual arousal play?
Many of the same dynamics exist in a BDSM relationship as in a vanilla sex relationship, the latter of which I have much more experience. By the way, if I crave a BDSM relationship and a vanilla relationship, does that make me bi-sexual? The guys in my fantasy football league may not understand....
What about BDSM as foreplay? I think a good smack around and a bit of worship would get the fires stoked better than a bottle of Chinese Viagra (no one told me not take the whole bottle at once). I am asking of those who have experienced this in their personal lives.
I have been involved in this scene for a long time but the most I have ever seen one domme was 3 times and that was spread over a 3 year period. Kind of hard to get in to a rythym or a mutual understanding. I guess you could say that I am stunted in my BDSM relationships. I very much want to change that and take a much deeper dive in to the psyche of it. These discussions help bring different thinking to mind and I much appreciate the candor.
Until I started reading this forum, I did not think this type of discussion possible.
Sk2