mranderson

Long time ago now I had a session where the girl tortured me until I agreed to lick her feet, and then once I did that she started increasing her demands to increasing levels of humiliation. Not exactly interrogation but along a similar vibe, I think.

Has anybody else found their fantasies are far more intensely-masochistic during this pandemic? I find myself craving a cathartic release - not sure if it's just the stress of maintaining social-distancing and the uncertainty of the current situation. I think bastinado would be an ideal BDSM activity during these times, as it would be possible to maintain more than a 1m distance between the top and the bottom. Not sure how the ladies here feel about that?

I've cried in play before, but it wasn't really the pain. It was a game where I got caned for wrong answers and the frustration of knowing that I was causing my own suffering was too much for me.

You ladies are evil.. :-P I did some research into bastinado. Turns out that normal pain nerves sort of "get tired" and stop firing fully after a while. The nerves on the feet (and tongue) don't have this: they keep on firing, which is why foot caning hurts so much. I also found out that contrary to popular BDSM belief you can cane the soles of the feet very hard, as long as the blow is flat and the cane is quite light. A fairly recent addition to play with my girlfriend is a single sharp blow to the soles for swearing or safewording during corporal scenes. You'd be amazed how well it works for behavior modification. I cannot imagine doing an entire session based around it!

Hi, Thanks everyone for the lovely responses. I particularly like Mistress Sophia Katz's solution of having some unpleasant punishment for safewording. When I'm topping my girlfriend I'm pretty mean, and will often be able to bring her to tears. I'd like to be able to experience that for myself. And I think she also gets frustrated that her times as a top are often cut short. Punishment for safewording is something she's been suggesting actually, as she points out "you shouldn't be safewording if you know something is safe". Two of the quickest things that will make me safeword are clover clamps on nipples, or caning. I actually love both and they're both something I fantasize about, and I usually regret not going through with it soon after. We discussed not having a safeword for caning, with a small number of strokes. I think at the root of it I get scared that the pain is so bad that it must be dangerous, or I must be bleeding or something.

Hi there, I'm in a loving, open and kinky relationship with a girl with whom I switch with (we don't really do D/s, it's more sadism/masochism). Since we started playing a few years ago I've always overused my safeword (when I'm bottoming), which both of us find really frustrating. I'm not sure why I can't "let go" - I used to be able to play quite hard (I was around 22 then, now I'm 34). Anyhow we were both wondering if seeing a professional might help, as my girlfriend said "like when you take your cat to the vet and it suddenly behaves itself". I read in another thread on here Mistress Katz (or Rey) saying how they sometimes implement "severe punishments" for overusing a safeword, and I'm wondering if that would work for my own problem?