华主的小乖乖毛

My pleasure. Yeah, I remember the first time I took note of her in some article. She's big-boned and bruising, but all inside a figure that is next to perfect.

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Excellent! She's amazing like that - I don't wanna get all drippy/sentimental, but this stuff just jets into my mind because of Mistress Vivienne Fang. I hate bumping my head on tables or heavy luggage knocking my kneecaps - I hated playing goalie in street hockey - but she's just.....well, you know, she's SHE.?

You are being EXTREMELY generous. Once when I was 14 a classmate and I got seriously bored with wood shop class. We were supposed to be making small, wooden ashtrays (to be varnished). We decided to play baseball in class while the teacher was taking a men's room break. Stevie was the pitcher. I took a piece of wood out of a barrel to use as a bat and said "let 'er rip" - Stevie did, and promptly threw a fastball high and inside - hit my forehead - a trip to the nurse's office to get bandaged up. Nothing traumatic, but from that day I was pretty sensitive about people throwing or swinging solid wooden objects around. I get nervous playing baseball or softball just because of inexperienced people swinging bats in the on-deck circle. That is, until I thought of you dressed in a Chinese woman's police uniform, feeling bored with having all us foreigners around sweeping your streets, the hot sun leaving you feeling just a bit ornery. What is happening to me??

I'm astonished at how quickly I got over my fear of solid, varnished oak, just now. In the words of Larry David, I respect wood - and I also fear it. How on earth did you sell me so quickly on the idea of being beaten literally to a pulp by you(?)

1. Go back in time and revisit my first flight to China, flying into Harbin, a curious smell of sawdust seemed to permeate the air, and I can recall the excitement of setting foot on what for me is sacred ground - arriving at a friend's house and smelling a bread shop nearby the family's apartment building complex - then walking out into the early September night, watching hundreds of retirees dressed up in red blouses, red slacks, ballet flats, waving green sashes and performing the "seedling dance" - and for the first time in my life, receiving the gaze and smile of a 60 year old northern Chinese woman on her turf, simply living her life, but at that moment I choose to believe she was also sensing my vulnerability and awe, and her intent was to send me confirmation that yes, my soul belonged to her and to the world's Chinese population for its leisure.....and I couldn't be more grateful to all. 2. My first kiss - no clumsiness, no awkwardness, sensual - and I have no idea how things occurred in that fashion, because just about everything else I do requires endless practice to become vaguely smooth. Kristin, I am GLAD it was you - and that chestnut hair down to the middle of your back, eyes as big as tangerines.

"You're thinking the right way and about the right people - let's keep it that way."

Niki Minaj. How could I neglect her(?) I used her name as a password once for picking up a ticket I had ordered online - the lady at the counter smiled at me with an expression of "Seriously? You couldn't let it go for something like this?". No, I couldn't. And Amber Rose with the leather pants.

Three Taurus' not to be screwed even when their patience levels are up: 1. Rosario Dawson. 2. Jessica Alba. 3. Penelope Cruz.