Mistress Kang - you pose a very interesting question so, here goes:
(John082, your post really struck a nerve with me. We're close to the same age and have had similar experiences.)
The first hint that I was "different" was my realization in grade school that I had a foot fetish.
All of my friends got off on pictures of naked girls courtesy of Playboy and Hustler, but it seemed like I was the only one that got excited from the barefoot models in the Sears catalog.
Fast forward to 6th grade where our unofficial class reading assignment was "The Happy Hooker" by Xaveria Hollander. This autobiography was pretty mainstream, but there were a few kinky episodes. While most of the class would read a chapter and then say "Ewww, gross!", I kept my mouth shut thinking quietly to myself: "I'm going to try that one day".
An epiphany for me came in a Richard Pryor film called "Which Way Is Up?" where Richard's wife is topping him, with a whip, then proceeds to use a dildo on him. Of course his father (also played by Pryor) bursts into the room at that moment, sees what's going on and declares "The boy done turned into a freak!". Yup, the story of my life.
When I finally got my hacking skills going at age 14, I built my own dildo to re-enact that scene. It worked better than I ever thought and brought to me the realization that this was who I was and while I could try to ignore it, I could not change it.
When I finally did become sexually active, I simply could not find a partner that was into kink. So, I ended up with a vanilla lifestyle (hey vanilla is fun too!). I did have a pattern where I dated athletic women who were taller than me but the kink was always missing.
This went on until my mid-twenties when I met a woman that would change my life.
The first hint that my girlfriend "Lola" was different was when she caught me peeking at her feet in her sexy sandals. She just smiled, took off her sandals and made sure I could see what I wanted without having to hide. How cool is that!? She was totally uninhibited and was open to anything - all I had to do was ask. We explored just about everything I had ever wanted, including some pretty kinky stuff that she was into - and the coolest part was that she actually enjoyed it all.
My friends couldn't understand why in the world I was with her (she had unrelated issues that got in the way of our relationship), but I held onto her for as long as I could.
So thanks to "Lola", and the wisdom that comes with age, I realize I'm not alone, that I don't really care what anyone else thinks about me and that I'm interested in expanding my horizons even further.
