First time advice for someone not even sure if kinky/what kink

[UnderPromise]

So the idea of going to a dungeon never even occurred to me until Friday night, when a friend moving to the city mentioned interest in the idea, which made me curious.

 

My ex-girlfriend was a submissive/masochist, and we played around a bit, but actual bondage and S&M has little or no appeal to me.  The psychological side of submission/domination is a little more complicated/might have more appeal?  I loved Secretary certainly, but I've been pretty vanilla in my sex life until now.  Considered starting a fetlife account, but haven't/haven't been sure what I'd be looking for there...

 

Basically I'm curious if many/any people went into the fortress with little idea what their kink might be, if any, and came away with clarity and certainty on what excites them?

 

I'm also curious if so, who you saw and what the exploration/discovery was like.  I've had some conversation with Mistress Emma Ree about scheduling my first appointment, but thought I should ask here for experience first.

[Mistress Sophia Katz]

For some individuals, domination is not necessarily about the activity itself (bondage, corporal, etc) but the feelings of loss of control that are associated with the activity.  For some, it's a more of a vehicle to getting to this mind state rather than the end all be all of domination. 

 

What is it about the psychological side of domination excites you and what drives your interest to explore it?

[UnderPromise]

I'm not even sure what I'm talking about has anything to do with domination, that's part of the trouble/part of my doubt...  but I am interested in explict and implicit power dynamics, and the tension between them and how the person with explicit power isn't always (or even often) the one with the most implicit power?  Or something like that.  I find verbalizing it difficult, maybe precisely because I am verbal, and somewhat overly literal by default, and this is different, and verbalizing these things can't help but change them sometimes, trading implicit for explicit like matter into energy, or vice-versa.

 

In more concrete terms, I'm excited by exhibitionist scenarios that risk discovery or being walked in on/caught in the act, and/or have an element of being public and inappropriate, but I've never really found a good way to pursue them with past partners.  One friend recently suggested some hotels on the highline have some qualities appealing to voyeurs, but I'm not sure it's quite voyeurism I'm interested in, as that scenario is less exciting to me, actually being watched as opposed to the possibility of being caught.

[UnderPromise]

Oh also curious for advice if I go, there was some back and forth with Mistress Ree about who she thought would most "get me" from my guesses, which contrasted with who I was most attracted to based on pictures... any advice from others on which is more important for a successful first experience?

[theDumbMule]

Oh also curious for advice if I go, there was some back and forth with Mistress Ree about who she thought would most "get me" from my guesses, which contrasted with who I was most attracted to based on pictures... any advice from others on which is more important for a successful first experience?

I don't think you can go wrong with anyone, but Mistress Ree and Mistress Kang would know best. They know what each mistress likes and what would match up with you. They are all stunningly attractive in person. A common comment on the forum is their pictures do not do them justice.

[Dannyboy]

UP:

 

In my case I met and sessioned with the Headmistress before the Fortress came into existence.  My kinky needs at that time were already well developed.  I had kink in my mind long before ever sessioning with a Mistress.

 

It is not uncommon, though, for a client to have vague feelings and the need to discover.  You would do well to proceed with an open mind and a seeking spirit.  The Fortress is a great place to learn more about yourself and find out what it is that you might truly desire.

 

In my experience, Ms. Ree and Ms. Kang are highly perceptive and can match you reliably with the Lady best suited for you. You can take that first step with confidence. You will thank yourself later.

 

Dannyboy

[Lonewolf.]

Hi UnderPromise...Lonewolfs LUSTFUL LIBIDO dictates his lifetime BDSM experiences...with no complex prerequisites other than extreme CASTRATING FEMALE PHYSICAL BEAUTY coupled with extreme exemplary FEMALE DRIVEN TORTUROUS PROCLIVITIES...starting agonizingly SENSUALLY SLOW and gradually ramping up to a feverish pitch of unfathomable ongoing FEMALE ULTRA PERSUASIVE CRUELEST FINALITY fully sanctioned by her unyielding TORTUROUS PHYSICALITY...MISTRESS SOPHIA KATZ...sound familiar or have YOU turned away from reality?

[need to serve]

Oh also curious for advice if I go, there was some back and forth with Mistress Ree about who she thought would most "get me" from my guesses, which contrasted with who I was most attracted to based on pictures... any advice from others on which is more important for a successful first experience?

Hello UnderPromise,

 

When I went into my first session I was very well aware of my fetish and desire to submit.  I have been involved in discussions with others who were not so conscious of what they wanted/desired other than that they wanted to explore.  From that exploration, some have evolved from submissive to dominant and dominant to submissive, some are just fetishists or kinky and others have moved on.  If something is compelling you to "check it out" and you have the means to do that, why not check it out?

 

My experience has been that when I have made choices solely based on appearance, I have made bad choices.  Not always, though most of the time.  When I have done research and have identified someone who shares interests with me and that I am also physically attracted to, I have never had a bad session.  I may not get a great session, though typically when I do the research I get sessions that range from very good to great.