Goddess or Mistress?

[franknot]

Goddess or Mistress? ... I've found that have trouble saying "Mistress" out loud.

While it might be just a matter of semantics, since the results are the same, it seems more honorable to have arrived at that foregone destination by worshiping your Goddess rather than being a slave to your Mistress.

Perhaps you can take some small amount of pride in the fact that acceptance through devotion is what drives you to that end, rather than fear of a more severe punishment.

One is a choice made by you ... the other is an verdict that's been inflicted upon you.

But still ... there is always the possibility that one who proudly worships might be yet be broken and reduced to a slave.  And that too can be tantalizing ... like being one additional level below what you had considered your absolute bottom.

[theDumbMule]

Interesting way of putting it franknot.  I am a bit simpler (dumber??) minded.  I find that the domme will tell me what she is to me (mistress or goddess) and as long as I stay within those guidelines I keep in less trouble (somehow I am never out of trouble).  I also find it’s best when the domme explains what I am to her (Dommes, insert favorite name here).  Once all of that is established we can together deal with my shortcomings (although there really is nothing short to see here) the best way she sees fit.

[franknot]

8 hours ago, theDumbMule said:

Interesting way of putting it franknot.  I am a bit simpler (dumber??) minded.  I find that the domme will tell me what she is to me (mistress or goddess) and as long as I stay within those guidelines I keep in less trouble (somehow I am never out of trouble).  I also find it’s best when the domme explains what I am to her (Dommes, insert favorite name here).  Once all of that is established we can together deal with my shortcomings (although there really is nothing short to see here) the best way she sees fit.

Hey DM .. 

You're in a good place.. you've resigned yourself to happily conform to whatever the circumstances dictate and make the most of them.

But i'm conflicted ... i think i'm still wrestling  with the "pathetic" conundrum.  I'm comfortable with being openly pathetic in session ... but in my "mind"  i'd prefer to eak out a just a tiny bit of "dignity" while still being thoroughly dominated. 

Conversely, this morning *philosophicalsub* posted an inspiring and vivid picture of a thoroughly broken, pathetic slave, one that i would love to someday experience.
My problem may be that i don't know what it is to be "broken" ... or where the pieces will fall.

Due to a particular set of circumstances, i haven't been able to session enough times to be guided into that blissfully lowest level of submission.
I'm conflicted but not complaining.

[philosophicalsub]

11 minutes ago, franknot said:

Conversely, this morning *philosophicalsub* posted an inspiring and vivid picture of a thoroughly broken, pathetic slave, one that i would love to someday experience.
My problem may be that i don't know what it is to be "broken" ... or where the pieces will fall.

Thanks for the kind words.  For me, an easy way to reserve a bit of dignity for your real life is to only really give up your dignity in a role-play.  that way you can always tell yourself that it’s just your character who is being degraded.

As for being broken, the way I experienced that was to resist until I couldn’t anymore. If I gave in too soon (and I did a few times) I could just tell myself that I was still in control. It’s definitely edge play, and definitely has risks, but I think it’s possible to start with small things. i’m sure there are other ways to experience it, but that’s the only one I can think of that would work for me.

[franknot]

On 2/16/2020 at 4:51 PM, philosophicalsub said:

For me, an easy way to reserve a bit of dignity for your real life is to only really give up your dignity in a role-play.  that way you can always tell yourself that it’s just your character who is being degraded.

phil,..

Thanks for you input and for helping me to air this out a bit.

Your suggestion would work if i had your ability to transform myself so completely into the character .. but i'm too self conscious to carry that off.   Just scratch the surface and my real self would be exposed.

And oddly, as i think about this now, part of my real self may be looking forward to being degraded to the point of slavery and made to address my dominate as my "Mistress".

While in therapy i learned that i've been emotionally barren for quite some time now,  so i feel that maybe the experience of being "emotionally broken" should outweigh the need for some dignity.

Feeling even a somewhat negative emotion seems better than having no emotional stimulation at all.

[otaku]

While we're on this subject..... What's a good way to ask your Mistress what she prefers to be called without arousing suspicion that you've avoided saying any names because you're not sure what she prefers. But you're in too deep to ask after all this time. Asking for a fellow sub, of course

[Mistress Kang]

I think it's best to go by what the Domina calls herself online (eg: Empress, Domina, Princess, Lady, Ms, Mistress, Goddess, etc). If she prefers otherwise, I'm sure she will correct you.

[franknot]

1 hour ago, Mistress Kang said:

I think it's best to go by what the Domina calls herself online (eg: Empress, Domina, Princess, Lady, Ms, Mistress, Goddess, etc). If she prefers otherwise, I'm sure she will correct you.

Thanks Ms. Kang ,

I suppose that's the safe way... but subs are always told that communication is most important.

On the forums, for the most part, i've been addressing all of the mistresses using the honorific "Ms." ... except for MVD.. who seems comfortable with that title.   I have noticed that some subs occasionally refer to their Domms by last name only ... but that seems a bit too familiar and disrespectful.

So after some secret struggling,.. during our last session I finally just told Ms. Jin that I was having trouble with the "M" word and preferred to address her as Goddess ... She said there could be different respectful titles for different circumstances.. So we sorta' resolved part of it .. (I think?)

While she listened to what i had to say she didn't make a clear decision either way ... Her silence on the subject was a little unnerving and I suspect she'll either weigh in when she has more to say, or perhaps correct my behavior without warning if she's displeased.

[Mistress Kang]

21 minutes ago, franknot said:

Thanks Ms. Kang ,

I suppose that's the safe way... but subs are always told that communication is most important.

On the forums, for the most part, i've been addressing all of the mistresses using the honorific "Ms." ... except for MVD.. who seems comfortable with that title.   I have noticed that some subs occasionally refer to their Domms by last name only ... but that seems a bit too familiar and disrespectful.

So after some secret struggling,.. during our last session I finally just told Ms. Jin that I was having trouble with the "M" word and preferred to address her as Goddess ... She said there could be different respectful titles for different circumstances.. So we sorta' resolved part of it .. (I think?)

While she listened to what i had to say she didn't make a clear decision either way ... Her silence on the subject was a little unnerving and I suspect she'll either weigh in when she has more to say, or perhaps correct my behavior without warning if she's displeased.

I have no doubt Mistress Jin will correct you accordingly. For your next session, I'd like to suggest to Mistress Jin to place a quarter in a sock for each transgression and beat you with it at the one hour mark.

[philosophicalsub]

22 hours ago, franknot said:

And oddly, as i think about this now, part of my real self may be looking forward to being degraded to the point of slavery and made to address my dominate as my "Mistress".

While in therapy i learned that i've been emotionally barren for quite some time now,  so i feel that maybe the experience of being "emotionally broken" should outweigh the need for some dignity.

Feeling even a somewhat negative emotion seems better than having no emotional stimulation at all.

Interesting. I guess that means being “degraded“ to the point of slavery would be a negative emotion for you, then?

For me, I am willing to put up with some pretty negative things in sessions, but only in the service of things I consider very positive. In my ongoing role play with mistress Zito, my character is not at all happy with his “forced“ submission. But personally I couldn’t be more thrilled to be surrendering my control so completely to her. if there is something that I straight up don’t like in one of our sessions, that particular dislike is more than offset by the feeling of her control and power over me to make me do this particular unpleasant activity.

is this a case of you want to feel something, anything, even if it’s bad? Or is there something in particular about ”being degraded to the point of slavery” that truly does appeal to you, even if there are one or two negatives that go along with it?

[franknot]

2 hours ago, philosophicalsub said:

Interesting. I guess that means being “degraded“ to the point of slavery would be a negative emotion for you, then?

For me, I am willing to put up with some pretty negative things in sessions, but only in the service of things I consider very positive. In my ongoing role play with mistress Zito, my character is not at all happy with his “forced“ submission. But personally I couldn’t be more thrilled to be surrendering my control so completely to her. if there is something that I straight up don’t like in one of our sessions, that particular dislike is more than offset by the feeling of her control and power over me to make me do this particular unpleasant activity.

is this a case of you want to feel something, anything, even if it’s bad? Or is there something in particular about ”being degraded to the point of slavery” that truly does appeal to you, even if there are one or two negatives that go along with it?

phil ... thank you so much for your concern ..it means a lot and you're definitely hitting a few nerve endings here.

Gonna reread your comments a few times and see where they take me... ttyl.

[Mistress Zora Jin]

19 hours ago, franknot said:

Thanks Ms. Kang ,

I suppose that's the safe way... but subs are always told that communication is most important.

On the forums, for the most part, i've been addressing all of the mistresses using the honorific "Ms." ... except for MVD.. who seems comfortable with that title.   I have noticed that some subs occasionally refer to their Domms by last name only ... but that seems a bit too familiar and disrespectful.

So after some secret struggling,.. during our last session I finally just told Ms. Jin that I was having trouble with the "M" word and preferred to address her as Goddess ... She said there could be different respectful titles for different circumstances.. So we sorta' resolved part of it .. (I think?)

While she listened to what i had to say she didn't make a clear decision either way ... Her silence on the subject was a little unnerving and I suspect she'll either weigh in when she has more to say, or perhaps correct my behavior without warning if she's displeased.

I didn't pick a title because I wanted to see what you would come up with and of course have an excuse to beat you for the ones I don't like so I'm hoping you come up with a lot of different ones ?

[theDumbMule]

23 hours ago, Mistress Kang said:

I have no doubt Mistress Jin will correct you accordingly. For your next session, I'd like to suggest to Mistress Jin to place a quarter in a sock for each transgression and beat you with it at the one hour mark.

Your full of great session ideas.  I’m thinking for my next session of just asking you what kind of session I should have.

[Mistress Kang]

On 2/18/2020 at 3:20 PM, otaku said:

While we're on this subject..... What's a good way to ask your Mistress what she prefers to be called without arousing suspicion that you've avoided saying any names because you're not sure what she prefers. But you're in too deep to ask after all this time. Asking for a fellow sub, of course

This little song and dance will go well with our outfit, otaku ? You must learn it in time for our session! Hurry you only have a few days.

[franknot]

27 minutes ago, theDumbMule said:

Your full of great session ideas.  I’m thinking for my next session of just asking you what kind of session I should have.

Hey DM...

As soon as I saw Ms. Kang's reply, I said to myself... "how did I manage to get myself into such a classic DumbMule situation?"

Never saw it coming.

[theDumbMule]

7 minutes ago, franknot said:

Hey DM...

As soon as I saw Ms. Kang's reply, I said to myself... "how did I manage to get myself into such a classic DumbMule situation?"

Never saw it coming.

I never see it coming either.  It just hits me.  This is followed by other things hitting me.

[franknot]

4 hours ago, Mistress Zora Jin said:

I didn't pick a title because I wanted to see what you would come up with and of course have an excuse to beat you for the ones I don't like so I'm hoping you come up with a lot of different ones ?

Ms. Jin,

I'm guessing that no matter what I think is proper I should be sure to bring a large sock and a roll of quarters.

[otaku]

1 hour ago, Mistress Kang said:

This little song and dance will go well with our outfit, otaku ? You must learn it in time for our session! Hurry you only have a few days.

Lol, I'll do my best!

[franknot]

On 2/18/2020 at 7:50 PM, philosophicalsub said:

is this a case of you want to feel something, anything, even if it’s bad? Or is there something in particular about ”being degraded to the point of slavery” that truly does appeal to you, even if there are one or two negatives that go along with it?

phil...

Both are interconnected and both ring true to some degree .. and that kinda sums up my underlying confusion.

Along with this observation, everything else you've mentioned in this thoughtful reply is on target, and even desirable in session.   But while i could never allow real-time slavery to be a part of my life.. i'm concerned that another part of me might secretly crave the emotional rush of it to fill a void.

And that would be troublesome for sure.    I'll just have to tread carefully.

  .... Thanks Dr. phil, this back and forth has brought some clarity to my thoughts... be sure to send me your bill.

[Mistress Kang]

On 2/19/2020 at 7:10 PM, otaku said:

Lol, I'll do my best!

Make sure you dial up the jaunty! LOL

[ConsentOptional]

On 2/15/2020 at 10:35 AM, franknot said:

Goddess or Mistress? ... I've found that have trouble saying "Mistress" out loud.

While it might be just a matter of semantics, since the results are the same, it seems more honorable to have arrived at that foregone destination by worshiping your Goddess rather than being a slave to your Mistress.

Perhaps you can take some small amount of pride in the fact that acceptance through devotion is what drives you to that end, rather than fear of a more severe punishment.

One is a choice made by you ... the other is an verdict that's been inflicted upon you.

But still ... there is always the possibility that one who proudly worships might be yet be broken and reduced to a slave.  And that too can be tantalizing ... like being one additional level below what you had considered your absolute bottom.

If She has a name, that's Her name.  I'm gonna get slapped soon enough as it is.  No need for me to go looking for a reason.  But my default is Goddess.  That aspect of Her is what likely drew me in the 1st place.  But, it might be something I keep to myself in the long run.  I get what you're saying about saying Mistress.  But it's speculation for me.  I've not gotten there.  I do watch your evolution with interest though, FK.  We've got some similar, um, wisfusion. 

[franknot]

On 2/23/2020 at 4:55 PM, ConsentOptional said:

I get what you're saying about saying Mistress.  But it's speculation for me.  I've not gotten there. 

I can sense the wistfulness in this .. as i've sensed it on other occasions.

Truly hope you find it ... you've got a lot to offer the right one.

On 2/23/2020 at 4:55 PM, ConsentOptional said:

I do watch your evolution with interest though, FK.  We've got some similar, um, wisfusion. 

Thanks, that means a lot.

I'm relieved to see that you went with "wisfusion" rather than "condom"    

Stay well.

[ConsentOptional]

1 hour ago, franknot said:

I'm relieved to see that you went with "wisfusion" rather than "condom"    

 

hehehe... that's a keeper.

[ConsentOptional]

11 hours ago, franknot said:

I can sense the wistfulness in this .. as i've sensed it on other occasions.

Truly hope you find it ... you've got a lot to offer the right one. 

Yeah.  I've always felt almost absurdly slutty.  But it's morphed in time toward wanting to be a good sub and to hear those words from just one person.  I was amazed (perhaps should not have been) when I took that online bdsm aptitude test and scored like 98% slave.  And wondered if you can be that much of a tart and still be a slave.  Would a true Owner want to have to put up with that?  But I suppose there are ways to teach one to be a proper and devoted slut.....