New forum member/first session

[KitsuneNoYume]

Hello everyone! I created a forum account as I will be sessioning with Mistress Mina Jung this week. I’m very excited, but of course, as I’ve seen from others as well, fairly nervous in anticipation of what will be my first session with anyone anywhere!

My handle is a romanization of 狐の夢, Japanese for “dream of fox(es)” or “fox’s dream”.  The Japanese folklore around foxes (kitsune) can be very cerebral, marked less by direct maliciousness (as they are viewed in, for instance, Chinese culture) and more as morally ambiguous shapeshifters, carrying also a sexual and gender fluidity that resonates with me deeply (in ways other than sexuality too). On these forums, feel free to call me by my full handle, or just “Kit”.

I have seen on this forum over the years that this topic frequently appears: “What were your life’s first indications of interest in BDSM?” Well, you may notice i said, “over the years”. Yes, it is true… I have lurked these forums from time to time for nearly a decade… maybe longer. And it is my life’s early experiences that led to me only lurking. It is my hope that by sharing my experience that led me here now, I may give encouragement to other lurkers reading this…

I grew up in the southeast (and later, finished my childhood in Chicago). When I was very young,  I would sometimes fantasize about what we would call BDSM scenes, but which my mind was scared of (despite also finding it deeply pleasing in a way). My very first thoughts were actually dominant thoughts. But then later, there was a girl in my class  who was taller than me, was a bit of an ice queen, and who liked to look down at me and scowl. I’ve almost always had very submissive feelings ever since!

But, I didn’t understand it, and felt there must be something deeply wrong with me. Especially growing up in a conservative area, even as I got older kink was never explained to me as being healthy — only as wrong. As time passed, I tried to repress it, ignore it… but it didn’t work. I went through a cycle of purchasing toys, then throwing them away in shame. That was even after I met a good friend who I role-played with online for several months.

Then, something happened. I was selected for a position in Japan, for which I am now in New York to prepare for. At the end of this year, my life in the United States will move overseas. This period of time forced in me an introspection: the life we each live is finite… each year is a chance to make the most of ourselves, explore our psyche, those of others, and this world we are in together. We don’t get to do it a second time, just as I only have so much time in the US now.

And then, a good friend of mine gave me the push: Kink is clearly a big part of you. You should explore it, it will be healthy for you, and affirming.

And so now I am posting here after all these years. Over the next few months, I hope to visit FF frequently to discover who I am, and learn from others who share this passion we have.

Of course, I have not sessioned yet, but my experience via email with Mistress Kang has so far been extremely professional and yet welcoming, friendly, and reassuring. If you are afraid to contact the Fetish Fortress, please don’t be.

Thank you everybody, I look forward to sharing our experiences and thoughts!

日本語がわかります
 

 

[harrypotter]

Great post!  Best of luck on all your journeys!

[SoIntoYou]

10 hours ago, KitsuneNoYume said:

“ …the life we each live is finite… each year is a chance to make the most of ourselves, explore our psyche, those of others, and this world we are in together. We don’t get to do it a second time…”
 

 

Very well stated, Kit.

Good luck to you on what is sure to be an amazing journey and be sure to let us know how you enjoyed your session with Mistress Jung.