female led relationships

[joey]

this question is for the Ladies of   The Fortress.  How do You feel about FLR?  do You recommend them? have You ever been in one?  thank You.

[eager2serve]

Have to be honest.  I guess I have always felt that whether consciously or not, most male/female relationships are.  Seems to be the natural order.

[job1617]

The Fortress allows me to live out the fantasy. As for real life it depends on the relationship.

[submale89]

On 3/9/2022 at 4:06 PM, eager2serve said:

Have to be honest.  I guess I have always felt that whether consciously or not, most male/female relationships are.  Seems to be the natural order.

This has not been my experience. In my vanilla relationships, I've often ended up being the decision-maker in most situations.

[philosophicalsub]

So, first some caveats: flrs and master/slave dynamics come in all shapes and sizes, I don’t have nearly as much experience with them as I’d like, never take anything a random dude on a forum tells you as gospel, etc. 

But, i do have some experience and  I’ve talked to a lot of people in these sorts of dynamics.  And in general, the vast majority of the control that your domme wields over you doesn’t happen in a super sexy BDSM scene sort of a way. Most of it is the more mundane, “this is a chore that needs to get done” sort of stuff. The sexy BDSM stuff happens too, but most of any relationship happens outside of the bedroom. And while most masters have fun correcting some of their slaves shortcomings, it’s really hard for a dynamic to survive if the sub isn’t taking their responsibilities seriously.  And it’s really hard to take those responsibilities seriously for any period of time if you don’t find something appealing about them in and of themselves. 
 

So, what I would say is that if the thought of service to her and feeling her control over you, even in more mundane activities, sounds deeply fulfilling (it really can be!), then you should totally work to pursue an flr. Educating yourself on what you might expect from one (e.g. use google, read books [1], attend MAsT meetings [2], etc. ) will both serve you well and help demonstrate to a potential domme that you are serious.
 

If, on the other hand, chores sound like something you would have to tolerate in order to get to the fun sexy BDSM bits, I wouldn’t recommend advertising yourself as looking for an flr. You probably wouldn’t be able to tolerate it for as long as you think, and it would end up being a frustrating experience for both of you. There are definitely dommes and switches out there who primarily want play partners and not slaves. You would probably have a better experience trying to find one of those. 

 

[1] I’d recommend “Dear Raven and Joshua” as an introduction and “Slavecraft” as a follow up. Just  don’t be put off that they are mostly about gay couples. The master slave stuff applies to everyone ?. 
 

[2] MAsT stands for masters and slaves together and is a support/discussion group for people in these sorts of relationships. It’s mostly Male Dom / female sub, but again, the master/slave stuff applies to everyone.  Since Covid, a lot of local groups have been holding their meetings over zoom. The easiest way to find them is on fetlife. 

[JustAGuy]

I've noticed over the last 15 years or so that, in my professional life, I am happiest when reporting to a female superior.  I haven't enjoyed working for every woman I've ever worked for, and I haven't disliked every man I've ever worked for, but I like having a female boss.  I really give it my all to support them and make them look good, and I've found there's a real tendency for some male bosses to NOT want their subordinates to shine too much lest the boss not look good by comparison.