sub question

[seung_bitch_wannabe]

How should a newbie sub approach an experienced dom? I've had a horrible time with this whole experience. I've been rejected by an experienced (and respected) dom, and I've also rejected a potential dom because it became evident that she had no idea what she was doing. I can give a lot of details but suffice it to say that at this point I am completely gunshy and I don't know what to do. I need advice.

[WuTang]

Set up a session with Jessy. Be sure to tell her exactly what you expect and she will give you her guidelines. When you arrive, treat her with the respect you would treat a princess. Follow her every instruction and have fun. She will inflict pain so be prepared.

[shermie]

WuTang is absolutely correct! Be respectful, be open, be honest, have a sense of humor, and yes, be prepared to suffer.

[whiplash]

WuTang is absolutely correct! Be respectful, be open, be honest, have a sense of humor, and yes, be prepared to suffer.

 

shermie,

 

But it is incomparable suffering. It will be the most pleasurable and yet intense suffering that it will be hard to forget. As those of us who see Jessy can attest She creates an addiction. You must return repeatedly to satisfy that yearning that is Mistress Kang.

 

whip

[Mistress Ahn]

How should a newbie sub approach an experienced dom? I've had a horrible time with this whole experience. I've been rejected by an experienced (and respected) dom, and I've also rejected a potential dom because it became evident that she had no idea what she was doing. I can give a lot of details but suffice it to say that at this point I am completely gunshy and I don't know what to do. I need advice.

 

That is adorable. Just wanted to put that out there. Also your willingness to please and learn are the beginnings of an exceptional sub. In the end it's all about trust, devotion and even love (in the nontraditional sense). I find it a little strange that an experienced domme rejected you for being too inexperienced seeing as an experienced domina would have probably been able to convince you to bend to her will with not too much effort. In any case, I wish you luck in finding your "zone", so to speak.

[ditto]

I'd agree with the previous post.

My first ever sub experience was with Jessy and it has me hooked.

She was very open to initiating a newbie and took the trouble to

find out where my interests lay.

[BacchusNYC]

Focus on finding a respected and skillful dom (Jessy seems to get good reviews on this score - guess I'll find out in a couple of weeks :-) ). Take your time. Understand that the fantasy of submission and BDSM is different from the reality - there's a lot of stuff that would seem great when whacking off that really may not be your thing in when you try it.

 

The first few times, you really just want to focus on gaining a little experience, limit your expectations, and just go with it. As per the previous posts, be honest about your desires. Whether you want branded with a cattle iron or to lick toes, the dom will have heard it all before - it's all cool (well, OK, the branding might not be a great idea to start off with - a good example of something that you might want to either avoid or work up to!). Also understand that like any relationship, you'll get out what you put in and chemistry matters. I've played with some people (pay and free) where the chemistry was exceptional and others where we just didn't vibe.

 

Oh, and apart from sharing all your kinky fantasies (which is actually a positive sign and one of the biggest predictors of a good session), don't be weird :-) Dress OK, don't smell too bad when you come to the session, and unless you've got a gag in, drooling isn't cool :-)