Mistress Kang Posted July 12 Report Share Posted July 12 I find my interpretation of BDSM to be ever evolving. I imagine that to be true for many, Dommes and subs alike. Special areas of interests change, expand, morph entirely. Limits range from soft to hard- hard never to be breached...until (if ever?) it moves over to the soft column. Have you ever moved a limit from the hard column to soft, but dreaded it ever being encroached? What was that limit? Did it happen? How did it feel? If it didn't happen, what are you hoping for? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb85 Posted July 12 Report Share Posted July 12 26 minutes ago, Mistress Kang said: I find my interpretation of BDSM to be ever evolving. I imagine that to be true for many, Domme and sub alike. Special areas of interests change, expand, morph entirely. Limits ranging from soft to hard- hard never to be breached...until (if ever?) it moves over to the soft column. Have you ever moved a limit from the hard column to the soft column but really dreaded it ever being encroached? What was that limit? Did it happen? How did it feel? If it didn't happen, what are you hoping for? Spitting into my mouth and ball busting were both things I tried at least once pre Fortress but became hard limits......until my sessions with Mistress Hadid who did both and instantly moved them into the OK pile. 10+ yrs on the scene with several Mistresses both pro and personal yet still learning that, for me at least, it's about the session and the Domme more than it is about the 'thing' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb85 Posted July 12 Report Share Posted July 12 To add, specifically for the 'dreaded' aspect of the question however....Probably sissy play or forced bi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistress Kang Posted July 12 Author Report Share Posted July 12 5 minutes ago, Barb85 said: Spitting into my mouth and ball busting were both things I tried at least once pre Fortress but became hard limits......until my sessions with Mistress Hadid who did both and instantly moved them into the OK pile. 10+ yrs on the scene with several Mistresses both pro and personal yet still learning that, for me at least, it's about the session and the Domme more than it is about the 'thing' That's quite a testament to Mistress Hadid's affect on you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistress Kang Posted July 12 Author Report Share Posted July 12 4 minutes ago, Barb85 said: To add, specifically for the 'dreaded' aspect of the question however....Probably sissy play or forced bi So sissy play and forced bi are still hard limits or they are now soft, yet dreaded, limits? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jawz Posted July 12 Report Share Posted July 12 Sounding was a hard limit for me just because the thought of it freaked me out. It happened last session because Mistress Koi asked nicely. It stung a little but not as painful as I had dreaded. It's still a soft limit as far as I'm concerned but I'm glad it's out of the way Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistress Kang Posted July 12 Author Report Share Posted July 12 1 minute ago, jawz said: Sounding was a hard limit for me just because the thought of it freaked me out. It happened last session because Mistress Koi asked nicely. It stung a little but not as painful as I had dreaded. It's still a soft limit as far as I'm concerned but I'm glad it's out of the way "Out of the way" is a step in the right direction. Did it feel like you accomplished something? Is there a way it could be done next time to make it more enjoyable? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kit Cat Posted July 12 Report Share Posted July 12 15 minutes ago, Mistress Kang said: I find my interpretation of BDSM to be ever evolving. I imagine that to be true for many, Domme and sub alike. Special areas of interests change, expand, morph entirely. Limits ranging from soft to hard- hard never to be breached...until (if ever?) it moves over to the soft column. Have you ever moved a limit from the hard column to the soft column but really dreaded it ever being encroached? What was that limit? Did it happen? How did it feel? If it didn't happen, what are you hoping for? I think I have allowed myself to integrate BDSM/Kink into a part of my identity that I can cherish. I have heard more people like Mistress Damiana Chi PhD talk about Kink as its own sexual identity. I still feel like I have to be careful who I share this identity with, but there is no need to look at it as some type of pathology, or something born out of trauma. It has just been a part of me since the girl next door started playfully hitting me with a stick when I was an adolescent. I wish someone could have started mentoring me when I was 18, or connected with good people in the BDSM community. Someone to say hey come on in there are a lot of wonderful kinky people. I don't know if this answers the question about transitions of limits into either the hard or soft limit categories. I am surprised by some things that I enjoyed after experiencing them like tickling or hot wax. I think at this point in my journey I love playing with in scenes with a good story to shape the drama. I still have a hard limit with needles because I feel like I am going to pass out when my blood is drawn: I am afraid that it was be the same experience with a temporary needle. There is still so much to explore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jawz Posted July 12 Report Share Posted July 12 4 minutes ago, Mistress Kang said: "Out of the way" is a step in the right direction. Did it feel like you accomplished something? Is there a way it could be done next time to make it more enjoyable? It was definitely a step in the right direction. I'm not sure what can be done but I think I'm willing to push a bit more Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistress Kang Posted July 12 Author Report Share Posted July 12 2 minutes ago, Kit Cat said: I think I have allowed myself to integrate BDSM/Kink into a part of my identity that I can cherish. I have heard more people like Mistress Damiana Chi PhD talk about Kink as its own sexual identity. I still feel like I have to be careful who I share this identity with, but there is no need to look at it as some type of pathology, or something born out of trauma. It has just been a part of me since the girl next door started playfully hitting me with a stick when I was an adolescent. I wish someone could have started mentoring me when I was 18, or connected with good people in the BDSM community. Someone to say hey come on in there are a lot of wonderful kinky people. I don't know if this answers the question about transitions of limits into either the hard or soft limit categories. I am surprised by some things that I enjoyed after experiencing them like tickling or hot wax. I think at this point in my journey I love playing with in scenes with a good story to shape the drama. I still have a hard limit with needles because I feel like I am going to pass out when my blood is drawn: I am afraid that it was be the same experience with a temporary needle. There is still so much to explore. BDSM/Kink can be sexuality and an identity, to me it is both. I admire Mistress Damiana Chi and her sister, Mistress Jezebel Chi. I rented their dungeon in LA over 15 years ago and they were supreme hosts. Mistress Jezebel invited me to yum-cha and was a gracious big sister. So it sounds like you didn't know things belonged in your "like" column until you experienced them. Then keep needles off your list- there's plenty of other ways to achieve an adrenal rush 🙂 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistress Kang Posted July 13 Author Report Share Posted July 13 2 minutes ago, jawz said: It was definitely a step in the right direction. I'm not sure what can be done but I think I'm willing to push a bit more Was there something exciting about the fear of the limit being surpassed by someone you trusted? Aside from sounds, what other "hard" limit do you have and why is it a hard limit? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jawz Posted July 13 Report Share Posted July 13 1 minute ago, Mistress Kang said: Was there something exciting about the fear of the limit being surpassed by someone you trusted? Aside from sounds, what other "hard" limit do you have and why is it a hard limit? The anticipation was exciting and it was fun to do it with a mistress I trust. My other hard limit is ball busting. That one stays a hard limit because that type of pain takes me right out of the session Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistress Kang Posted July 13 Author Report Share Posted July 13 13 minutes ago, jawz said: The anticipation was exciting and it was fun to do it with a mistress I trust. My other hard limit is ball busting. That one stays a hard limit because that type of pain takes me right out of the session Mistress Koi is about as gentle as you can get with that activity. In regards to ballbusting- that limit is completely understandable. It is what makes it or breaks it and there's no in between. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
risotto Posted July 13 Report Share Posted July 13 No. But partly because my list of hard limits is so short. I moved impact to the balls from not-a-limit to, I don't know whether to call it a hard limit or a soft limit. Real ballbusting is a hard limit, but where exactly is that boundary? Hard to say. And I recently found a new hard limit for when I'm topping, but that's not relevant to the Fortress. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sissyrobbi Posted July 13 Report Share Posted July 13 i know what i like and i know what i don't like. mixing any sort of food w sex is ugh. do not tickle me. ever. poo is nasty. never ever ever. i'm no pain slut but i'm curious to see how far i can go with it. i'm willing to try most things at least once. for my second visit to the fortress i want to explore some different things. first visit was fun (lots of sissy play). second visit needs to be much more 'vicious' 😈 (lot more bitch ❤️ action) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb85 Posted July 13 Report Share Posted July 13 14 hours ago, Mistress Kang said: So sissy play and forced bi are still hard limits or they are now soft, yet dreaded, limits? Soft dreaded limit I reckon. Been around it in the past but never acted on or tried either. But in right circumstances I don't think would safe word or refuse either, but would be a tough session during and in post come down Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sissyrobbi Posted July 13 Report Share Posted July 13 ps so not a fan of the whole 'piggy' play thing but i just came across this 🐽 sooo fricken cute cute cute so never say no Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistress Kang Posted July 13 Author Report Share Posted July 13 5 hours ago, Barb85 said: Soft dreaded limit I reckon. Been around it in the past but never acted on or tried either. But in right circumstances I don't think would safe word or refuse either, but would be a tough session during and in post come down Forced bi (especially while sissified) would be VERY intense to experience, even moreso as a dreaded soft limit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistress Kang Posted July 13 Author Report Share Posted July 13 10 hours ago, risotto said: No. But partly because my list of hard limits is so short. I moved impact to the balls from not-a-limit to, I don't know whether to call it a hard limit or a soft limit. Real ballbusting is a hard limit, but where exactly is that boundary? Hard to say. And I recently found a new hard limit for when I'm topping, but that's not relevant to the Fortress. Curious about your new hard limit as a top? I suppose the level of impact play should start off lightly and work it's way up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistress Kang Posted July 13 Author Report Share Posted July 13 3 hours ago, sissyrobbi said: ps so not a fan of the whole 'piggy' play thing but i just came across this 🐽 sooo fricken cute cute cute so never say no SEXY PIGGIE GIRL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb85 Posted July 13 Report Share Posted July 13 3 hours ago, Mistress Kang said: Forced bi (especially while sissified) would be VERY intense to experience, even moreso as a dreaded soft limit. Closest I've come to any forced bi was at a dungeon party several years ago. A mistress made me and another sub masturbate next to each other in a race. Always wondered what I'd have done if she instructed us to 'assist' one another or if they had been a forfeit for the loser Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
risotto Posted July 13 Report Share Posted July 13 Yes, working up is how it's been the limit on ball-impact has generally been dealt with. I find it kind of annoying that it is a limit for me, but it works the same way for me as for Jawz - too much takes me right out of the session and I just want it to end. But it's no fun to make it totally off-limits. As for the new hard limit: rape play. It wasn't a limit before, because it never came up. But a partner wanted to play that way, so I went along, as I don't have a conceptual problem when consent is 100% clear. Never doing that again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
markm12 Posted July 14 Report Share Posted July 14 Golden shower right in the mouth is a soft limit now, since MVD always likes to spit in my mouth, this could Be something I can try Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kit Cat Posted July 15 Report Share Posted July 15 1 hour ago, markm12 said: Golden shower right in the mouth is a soft limit now, since MVD always likes to spit in my mouth, this could Be something I can try That sounds like a lot of fun. The spit in the mouth sounds like a good healthy dose of probiotics:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistress Kang Posted July 15 Author Report Share Posted July 15 On 7/13/2024 at 7:07 PM, Barb85 said: Closest I've come to any forced bi was at a dungeon party several years ago. A mistress made me and another sub masturbate next to each other in a race. Always wondered what I'd have done if she instructed us to 'assist' one another or if they had been a forfeit for the loser I'm so curious- what happened with the "end results". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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