BlindGoat Posted February 6 Report Share Posted February 6 As the title says I want to do my first session, ive been on here FOREVER and everytime I get close to booking I lose my nerve, any suggestions on how to "get over" that initial fear? I guess im a little ya know embarrassed about the fetish (its not really something we talk to people in the real world about lol) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nitin D Posted February 7 Report Share Posted February 7 7 hours ago, BlindGoat said: As the title says I want to do my first session, ive been on here FOREVER and everytime I get close to booking I lose my nerve, any suggestions on how to "get over" that initial fear? I guess im a little ya know embarrassed about the fetish (its not really something we talk to people in the real world about lol) Treat it as just a session where you submit to the Domme and let Her play out your fantasies. Communicate your limits and fantasies very clearly and for a first session, would be better to keep limits on what you are not sure you will enjoy and also what level of pain you are willing to tolerate. An experienced Domme will respect your limits and tolerance, will understand during the session what level of pain you can take and while the Domme may push, She will never exceed what you cannot take. As per me, I have never had any fear while going for a Femdom session as the sessions and Mistresses are highly professional and non-judgemental and experienced Mistresses know how to play out your fantasies in a safe manner which is enjoyable for you and Her. So let go, submit and bring your fantasies to life. Extreme plays in Video clips are not what happens in sessions unless you actually want that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistress Angel Feng Posted February 7 Report Share Posted February 7 2 hours ago, Nitin D said: Treat it as just a session where you submit to the Domme and let Her play out your fantasies. Communicate your limits and fantasies very clearly and for a first session, would be better to keep limits on what you are not sure you will enjoy and also what level of pain you are willing to tolerate. An experienced Domme will respect your limits and tolerance, will understand during the session what level of pain you can take and while the Domme may push, She will never exceed what you cannot take. As per me, I have never had any fear while going for a Femdom session as the sessions and Mistresses are highly professional and non-judgemental and experienced Mistresses know how to play out your fantasies in a safe manner which is enjoyable for you and Her. So let go, submit and bring your fantasies to life. Extreme plays in Video clips are not what happens in sessions unless you actually want that. I couldn’t have worded it better! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistress Ava Hadid Posted February 7 Report Share Posted February 7 9 hours ago, BlindGoat said: As the title says I want to do my first session, ive been on here FOREVER and everytime I get close to booking I lose my nerve, any suggestions on how to "get over" that initial fear? I guess im a little ya know embarrassed about the fetish (its not really something we talk to people in the real world about lol) There’s nothing to have shame about! You have a community of people who experience similar desires and this is a safe and fun place to explore them 🖤 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karl Posted February 7 Report Share Posted February 7 2 hours ago, Mistress Ava Hadid said: There’s nothing to have shame about! I agree, nothing to have shame about... but BlindGoat grew up in a society that thinks otherwise, and he can't completely escape that conditioning. BlindGoat, many of us subs have this problem. As a result, responsible BDSM practitioners understand the need for confidentiality. You can be completely confident that you won't be embarrassed by any disclosure of your fetish to anyone outside the Fortress. The Puritanical critics, telling you that you should be embarrassed, are in your own head. Tell them to get lost. For your session, you'll be in a room with a Mistress. It will be just the two of you there. Whatever the two of you enjoy is fine, regardless of what those other busybodies might say. You have a right to explore your own enjoyment. I was where you are. After years of jerking off to BDSM fantasies, I moved to New York. It took me a while to take advantage of my new reality: Never mind fantasy, there were real live women within a few miles of me who were ready, willing and able to make this a reality. At first, actually doing it just seemed inconceivable. Then I kept losing my nerve, as you describe. When I finally booked a session, I was a bundle of nerves. The good news that, within ten minutes after kneeling before her, I realized that waiting so long had been a mistake. I hope you have the same experience! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
subjman Posted February 7 Report Share Posted February 7 7 hours ago, Mistress Angel Feng said: I couldn’t have worded it better! And I am sure Mistress Feng is very good with wording. And I would say that pain is not always the goal, that erotic humiliation on many levels is, that is why one must be honest, accept what is the reply, and move on. Life is short, why deny honesty, and accept the same. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistress Angel Feng Posted February 8 Report Share Posted February 8 18 hours ago, Karl said: I agree, nothing to have shame about... but BlindGoat grew up in a society that thinks otherwise, and he can't completely escape that conditioning. BlindGoat, many of us subs have this problem. As a result, responsible BDSM practitioners understand the need for confidentiality. You can be completely confident that you won't be embarrassed by any disclosure of your fetish to anyone outside the Fortress. The Puritanical critics, telling you that you should be embarrassed, are in your own head. Tell them to get lost. For your session, you'll be in a room with a Mistress. It will be just the two of you there. Whatever the two of you enjoy is fine, regardless of what those other busybodies might say. You have a right to explore your own enjoyment. I was where you are. After years of jerking off to BDSM fantasies, I moved to New York. It took me a while to take advantage of my new reality: Never mind fantasy, there were real live women within a few miles of me who were ready, willing and able to make this a reality. At first, actually doing it just seemed inconceivable. Then I kept losing my nerve, as you describe. When I finally booked a session, I was a bundle of nerves. The good news that, within ten minutes after kneeling before her, I realized that waiting so long had been a mistake. I hope you have the same experience! Escaping the conditioning of the past is quite hard especially since society has told us BDSM is a big no-no. In order to escape the conditioning you have to get past the cloud of judgement weighing on your mind, and take a leap of faith.. like everyone else has said it’ll just be me and you in that room and nobody has to know. Even though society back then was close minded, today society is more open than not. At Fortress, we welcome many people regardless of how they come. I’d like to say it’s a safe haven for most. Just gotta gather some courage and book the session. Don’t worry, we won’t bite 😏 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistress Angel Feng Posted February 8 Report Share Posted February 8 14 hours ago, subjman said: And I am sure Mistress Feng is very good with wording. And I would say that pain is not always the goal, that erotic humiliation on many levels is, that is why one must be honest, accept what is the reply, and move on. Life is short, why deny honesty, and accept the same. Exactly! Life is too short to not do the things you enjoy. “Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.” -Ghandi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistress Ava Hadid Posted February 8 Report Share Posted February 8 20 hours ago, Karl said: I agree, nothing to have shame about... but BlindGoat grew up in a society that thinks otherwise, and he can't completely escape that conditioning. BlindGoat, many of us subs have this problem. As a result, responsible BDSM practitioners understand the need for confidentiality. You can be completely confident that you won't be embarrassed by any disclosure of your fetish to anyone outside the Fortress. The Puritanical critics, telling you that you should be embarrassed, are in your own head. Tell them to get lost. For your session, you'll be in a room with a Mistress. It will be just the two of you there. Whatever the two of you enjoy is fine, regardless of what those other busybodies might say. You have a right to explore your own enjoyment. I was where you are. After years of jerking off to BDSM fantasies, I moved to New York. It took me a while to take advantage of my new reality: Never mind fantasy, there were real live women within a few miles of me who were ready, willing and able to make this a reality. At first, actually doing it just seemed inconceivable. Then I kept losing my nerve, as you describe. When I finally booked a session, I was a bundle of nerves. The good news that, within ten minutes after kneeling before her, I realized that waiting so long had been a mistake. I hope you have the same experience! What a hopeful and inspiring story. Thank you for sharing that! It’s so encouraging to any sub who wants to take the plunge and allow themselves to live out their life authentically. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nitin D Posted February 8 Report Share Posted February 8 On 2/6/2025 at 9:47 PM, Mistress Angel Feng said: I couldn’t have worded it better! Thank You Mistress 😊 Blindgoat, if you are embarrassed to discuss Your fetish, write it down in detail and send it to HMK and maybe mention that you would like to play it out but not discuss it with the Domme. Also remember, an experienced Domme has played with numerous subs and there wouldn't be a fetish that She would not have played out. So your fetish will not be new to Her. Trust in her and give up control. She will take care of it. I have personally done it, not because of being embarrassed, but because I wanted to communicate what I wanted to experience in detail. My Mistress and I never spoke about it but She played it out even better than what I had hoped for. Remember, a Femdom session is one place where you just have to relax and do as you are told and not have any pressure to be in control or perform. So take the plunge, put in the deposit and submit to your Mistress 😊 and explore your fetish when you have the chance. As others have said, Life is short and Live life to the fullest!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistress Eva Koi Posted February 8 Report Share Posted February 8 There's nothing to be embarrassed about. Trust me, we've seen it all, and we love it! Let your freak flag fly here. This is a safe space Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karl Posted February 9 Report Share Posted February 9 On 2/7/2025 at 10:01 PM, Mistress Ava Hadid said: What a hopeful and inspiring story. Thank you for sharing that! It’s so encouraging to any sub who wants to take the plunge and allow themselves to live out their life authentically. Mistress Hadid, many thanks for your kind words! BlindGoat, in further reflecting on my own first time, I remembered something else -- the factor that finally prompted me to make the call. I had been going back and forth in my mind about whether to do it. After a long period of dithering, I finally decided that doing one session, as an experiment, couldn't possibly be worse than continued dithering. Based on your post, I'm guessing that you're in a similar situation. Your first post here was in 2018. You'll soon complete your fifth year of agonizing about a possible Fortress session. This indecision is obviously a source of unhappiness to you (as it was to me). So what you're doing now isn't working for you. If you visit the Fortress and decide that it's not your thing, you'll still be better off, because at least you'll know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Izzabella Posted February 9 Report Share Posted February 9 On 2/6/2025 at 9:29 AM, BlindGoat said: As the title says I want to do my first session, ive been on here FOREVER and everytime I get close to booking I lose my nerve, any suggestions on how to "get over" that initial fear? I guess im a little ya know embarrassed about the fetish (its not really something we talk to people in the real world about lol) Honestly you have done more already than I did when i first heard of the fortress. Theres also nothing wrong with being embarrassed. I am sure I felt that way at one time. The staff at the fortress will definitely help you get over the fears of doing a session. When i first sessioned here, the Mistress definitely introduced me to things I never experienced and I found things I like. Also they take really great care of you and keep things confidential. i have found to enjoy sessions and definitely look forward to returning to NYC for the chance to visit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistress Ito Posted February 10 Report Share Posted February 10 Communication is the key, it's okay to feel embarrassed, it's normal Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlindGoat Posted February 10 Author Report Share Posted February 10 Thanks everyone!! im gonna put some work time aside and book one!! about time I do something for ME Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistress Angel Feng Posted February 10 Report Share Posted February 10 2 hours ago, BlindGoat said: Thanks everyone!! im gonna put some work time aside and book one!! about time I do something for ME Exactly do it for YOU!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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