unexpected emotion

[bukowski39]

I recently had a scene at the fortress which involved some bondage and public humiliation. While participating in the scene it evoked a very powerful response which was completely unscripted and unexpected. What has been

your experience with unexpected emotions while participating in a scene?

[Guest]

Bukowski39,

I am interested in hearing more about the emotions you felt that were unexpected. Are you implying that it left you with a negative or positive feeling? Well, of course not getting too explicitly detailed, I want to know what the posted topic was meant to provoke? From Mistresses or Subbies? I must say I experienced a sensitive button being hit. A huge button and it was unintentional. It left me shocked, immobile and changed the tone immediately. Hard to come back after something like that. My only suggestion is to email. Since debriefing time is no longer an option, an email may help to resolve something for you or just to put it out there and get it off your chest is satisfying. p.s. I love Bukoski.

[BacchusNYC]

This can be quite common and it's really a good idea if you're playing quite a bit to check out some of the BDSM clubs - maybe turning up to the munches (informal dinners) so you can build a support network of people with similar interests for chatting about this stuff in real time. Google for BDSM in New York. Back in the day I remember The Eulenspiel Society and DomSubFriends. Not sure what the scene is now as I (a) travel a lot and ( am currently in a vanilla relationship when in NYC and she's not really into the clubs/scene.

 

There is a pretty direct connection between the body and emotions, and in addition psychological play like public humiliation can easily raise issues which can bring a really intense emotional response. Generally you might want to avoid play that brings up those kind of responses for you in a professional play setting only because there are limits to the time available for aftercare in these kinds of sessions. There is no way of knowing what'll cause a problem in advance, but if a particular type of play fires something off you might want to be cautious around that kind of play for a bit.

 

Just some general thoughts are that if something comes up, stay with it,remember to breath, focus on being in your body, and if you need a break, safeword. In very general terms, if something comes up and you can handle it and breathe through it, that can be cathartic, but if you're feeling out of control or overwhelmed, slow things down, breathe, and immediately let the dom know that you're having a hard time.