Outcast Posted April 23, 2012 Report Share Posted April 23, 2012 and chairs! Also, at the all you can eat buffet , " Honey, we only need one plate if you please. I'm on a tight budget." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spankbri Posted April 23, 2012 Report Share Posted April 23, 2012 A lady who insists on the toilet seat being left down is trying. I mean, where's the joy in life if you can't be awakened at 3 am as she gets out of bed and wanders through the dark, while you're waiting on tenterhooks to hear the splash when she falls in? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Outcast Posted April 23, 2012 Report Share Posted April 23, 2012 A lady who insists on the toilet seat being left down is trying. I mean, where's the joy in life if you can't be awakened at 3 am as she gets out of bed and wanders through the dark, while you're waiting on tenterhooks to hear the splash when she falls in? Did you see the recent South Park episode about that? Very very funny! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phred Posted April 23, 2012 Report Share Posted April 23, 2012 A lady who insists on the toilet seat being left down is trying. I mean, where's the joy in life if you can't be awakened at 3 am as she gets out of bed and wanders through the dark, while you're waiting on tenterhooks to hear the splash when she falls in? I know this is an old classic, but how about leaving the toilet seat down but wrapping the opening of the bowl with Saran Wrap? Always a crowd pleaser! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spankbri Posted April 24, 2012 Report Share Posted April 24, 2012 Ooo - I like it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistress Zhao Posted April 25, 2012 Report Share Posted April 25, 2012 I know this is an old classic, but how about leaving the toilet seat down but wrapping the opening of the bowl with Saran Wrap? Always a crowd pleaser! Ooo - I like it! I hope that in the middle of the night in your fuzziness, when you go to pee into the toilet with saran wrap on its seat, it splashes back and hits you in your eyes and gaping mouths. Antagonistic fuckers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phred Posted April 26, 2012 Report Share Posted April 26, 2012 I hope that in the middle of the night in your fuzziness, when you go to pee into the toilet with saran wrap on its seat, it splashes back and hits you in your eyes and gaping mouths. Antagonistic fuckers. "Gaping mouths" - hmm, thinly veiled Neanderthal reference. You're right Mistress Zhao, I am. I would probably just stare blankly at the Saran Wrap, then turn to the left and piss in the sink instead. Antagonistic? Maybe it would be better if I just completely removed all of your toilet seats. Sounds like a much better plan . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnny00000000 Posted April 26, 2012 Report Share Posted April 26, 2012 More like a Ducati I can only speak for myself, and I am purely low maintenance. What I do enjoy is giving someone an especially difficult task just to amuse myself with their difficulty in completing it. Like painting my nails with my sheer stockings as a blindfold Wow - that sounds so hot, Mistress Zhao. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistress Mina Jung Posted April 26, 2012 Report Share Posted April 26, 2012 A lady who insists on the toilet seat being left down is trying. I mean, where's the joy in life if you can't be awakened at 3 am as she gets out of bed and wanders through the dark, while you're waiting on tenterhooks to hear the splash when she falls in? Falls in? Are you dating Thumbelina? I can honestly say I have never "fallen" into a toilet because the seat was left up. I do have an IQ over 20 so maybe that's why Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistress Mina Jung Posted April 26, 2012 Report Share Posted April 26, 2012 Did you see the recent South Park episode about that? Very very funny! I haven't! Please share Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joey Posted April 26, 2012 Author Report Share Posted April 26, 2012 ok, maybe the ladies of the fortress aren't high maintanance. but if one of them was my girl i'd spend $25.000 a month on her. that would include rent, food, cars, clothes, massage, manis and pedis! little joey would spoil you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wild willie Posted April 27, 2012 Report Share Posted April 27, 2012 I did the opposite. When i was told to put the seat down, i put it all down including the cover so my sisters at least had to lift it. Pasive agressive as i am Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Outcast Posted April 27, 2012 Report Share Posted April 27, 2012 I haven't! Please share I don't know if me explaining it will be as funny as watching it ,but in the episode one of the kids at school keeps leaving the seat up pissing off his mom. She eventually gets stuck in the toilet and dies when they flush the toilet because all her insides get sucked out. So the.government then has TSA agents screening people before they use the bathroom. So some fat lady in a TSA uniform is like " Sir, bend over, I gotta check inside your asshole." Then they install cameras in everyone's bathroom and they're asking who's monitering these and they show some big middle aged perv ( some like someone you know ) watching the cameras while he's rubbing one out with a big bottle of Jergens lotion on the table. That scene had some great sound effects ,squish squish when he was jerking , and even in the limited animation of South Park, great facial expressions. You might get it on YouTube . It was hilarious!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spankbri Posted April 27, 2012 Report Share Posted April 27, 2012 Falls in? Are you dating Thumbelina? I can honestly say I have never "fallen" into a toilet because the seat was left up. I do have an IQ over 20 so maybe that's why College, living in a group house with a young woman who had clearly never lived with men before. She was NOT small. Fell in though. Hard to look contrite when you're laughing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistress Zhao Posted April 27, 2012 Report Share Posted April 27, 2012 "Gaping mouths" - hmm, thinly veiled Neanderthal reference. You're right Mistress Zhao, I am. I would probably just stare blankly at the Saran Wrap, then turn to the left and piss in the sink instead. Antagonistic? Maybe it would be better if I just completely removed all of your toilet seats. Sounds like a much better plan . Clearly, you've never seen my squat. It's fierce. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnny00000000 Posted April 29, 2012 Report Share Posted April 29, 2012 I was looking at this thread & it reminded me of an episode of How I Met Your Mother where Barney shows his bachelor apartment & he has a toilet seat that doesn't stay down - as soon as you stand up the toilet seat goes up - it was so funny - there was also a part where he has his porn collection on display in a glass wall unit with flashing lights - I wish I could post a link but my computer is not working right & I'm not able to post it - if you look on Youtube and search Barney Stinson toilet seat you should be able to find it. Neil Patrick Harris is so hilarious - I couldn't imagine that show without him in the cast. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistress Kang Posted May 2, 2012 Report Share Posted May 2, 2012 I was refering to ladies who enjoy the finer things in life, have to be doted on, have to have a man with a six figure income, etc. Then, *absolutely no*. That's a pretty insulting to insinuate we might be so shallow as to demand "finer things" be "doted" on by a man defined by his six figure income. Why did you even ask? Did you think any of us would have answered yes? If so, why would you think that? It's easier to dote, offer "finer things" and adjust your income than it is to obtain a large enough phallus of your own if you were not born with one to go along with your rock hard super buff meathead physique. Selectively shallow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mongoose Posted May 3, 2012 Report Share Posted May 3, 2012 Then, *absolutely no*. That's a pretty insulting to insinuate we might be so shallow as to demand "finer things" be "doted" on by a man defined by his six figure income. Why did you even ask? Did you think any of us would have answered yes? If so, why would you think that? It's easier to dote, offer "finer things" and adjust your income than it is to obtain a large enough phallus of your own if you were not born with one to go along with your rock hard super buff meathead physique. Selectively shallow. I have a great meathead physique. I even use spray tan. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joey Posted May 3, 2012 Author Report Share Posted May 3, 2012 Then, *absolutely no*. That's a pretty insulting to insinuate we might be so shallow as to demand "finer things" be "doted" on by a man defined by his six figure income. Why did you even ask? Did you think any of us would have answered yes? If so, why would you think that? It's easier to dote, offer "finer things" and adjust your income than it is to obtain a large enough phallus of your own if you were not born with one to go along with your rock hard super buff meathead physique. Selectively shallow. i apologize Superior Mistress Kang. i stand corrected. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phred Posted May 4, 2012 Report Share Posted May 4, 2012 I have a great meathead physique. I even use spray tan. Awesome, mongoose! I'm 0% physique, 100% meathead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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