Market Perving

[Mistress Kang]

I love green apples.  But I can't bite directly into them because that triggers my OAS.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oral_allergy_syndrome

That's OK because I have a whole ritual for eating green apples.  I like the ones that are crispy, not "dusty" ("dusty" means when you bite into it it feels like it's breaking into dust sized crumb pieces).

 

I always use the same knife and same plate.  After I wash it, I dry it with two paper towels and lay it on the plate with them.

 

1- Remove sticker.  

2- Wash thoroughly especially the "butt" and stem (remove) area.  

3- Cut in half, then cut halves into thirds.  

4- Peel each third and cut out the center part (core, seeds).  

5- Slice each third into thirds (LOL).  

 

Sometimes I'll eat as I'm cutting, sometimes I'll cut everything and then eat the slices uninterrupted.  Not like I'm counting or anything, but there are 18 slices to be precise ;-)

 

 

Anyway, I was out of green apples the other day.  So I went to Hong Kong Supermarket to get more and automatically went into produce-perv-mode.  Haven't you ever done that?

[Dannyboy]

I love green apples.  But I can't bit directly into them because that triggers my OAS.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oral_allergy_syndrome

 

That's OK because I have a whole ritual for eating green apples.  I like the ones that are crispy, not "dusty" ("dusty" means when you bite into it it feels like it's breaking into dust size crumb pieces).

 

I always use the same knife and same plate.  After I wash it, I dry it with two paper towels and lay it on the plate with them.

 

1- Remove sticker.  

2- Wash thoroughly especially the "butt" and stem (remove) area.  

3- Cut in half, then cut halves into thirds.  

4- Peel each third and cut out the center part (core, seeds).  

5- Slice each third into thirds (LOL).  

 

Sometimes I'll eat as I'm cutting, sometimes I'll cut everything and then eat the slices uninterrupted.  Not like I'm counting or anything, but there are 18 slices to be precise ;-)

 

 

Anyway, I was out of green apples the other day.  So I went to Hong Kong Supermarket to get more and automatically went into produce-perv-mode.  Haven't you ever done that?

Dear Ms. Kang:

 

Substituting OCD for OAS?

 

I eat apples a certain way at work. I would identify myself if any co-workers read this forum so I must withhold the details. But I understand the compulsive/ritualistic nature of your method.

 

Dannyboy

[purgatorio]

Hey pervy produce MK.  I worked produce as teen/

early 20 something. Black marker on melons back

then, 99 cents! Hot green peppers, twisty, cellophane-wrapped

beauties. ...Bet they'd turn you on.

.

[Manpeach]

I love green apples.  But I can't bit directly into them because that triggers my OAS.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oral_allergy_syndrome

That's OK because I have a whole ritual for eating green apples.  I like the ones that are crispy, not "dusty" ("dusty" means when you bite into it it feels like it's breaking into dust size crumb pieces).

 

I always use the same knife and same plate.  After I wash it, I dry it with two paper towels and lay it on the plate with them.

 

1- Remove sticker.  

2- Wash thoroughly especially the "butt" and stem (remove) area.  

3- Cut in half, then cut halves into thirds.  

4- Peel each third and cut out the center part (core, seeds).  

5- Slice each third into thirds (LOL).  

 

Sometimes I'll eat as I'm cutting, sometimes I'll cut everything and then eat the slices uninterrupted.  Not like I'm counting or anything, but there are 18 slices to be precise ;-)

 

 

Anyway, I was out of green apples the other day.  So I went to Hong Kong Supermarket to get more and automatically went into produce-perv-mode.  Haven't you ever done that?

Do you eat Snickers bars with a knife too, Mistress Kang?

[sweetbitchkalina]

oh dear kang what where thinking of buying

[loveinthetimeofcollaring]

Do you eat Snickers bars with a knife too, Mistress Kang?

I saw someone eating M&Ms with a spoon!

[Fred]

When I think of Market Perving my brain only suggests things that would land me in jail.

E.g., eating that perfect peach right then and there.  Or, testing the veggies for proper size and firmness.

[Mistress Kang]

Dear Ms. Kang:

 

Substituting OCD for OAS?

 

I eat apples a certain way at work. I would identify myself if any co-workers read this forum so I must withhold the details. But I understand the compulsive/ritualistic nature of your method.

 

Dannyboy

That would be the weirdest way for a possible co-worker to identify you on this forum LOL

[Mistress Kang]

Do you eat Snickers bars with a knife too, Mistress Kang?

And a fork.

[Mistress Kang]

I saw someone eating M&Ms with a spoon!

Me myself I use chopsticks.  They're slippery little suckers, improves my death grip ;-)

[Mistress Kang]

Hey pervy produce MK.  I worked produce as teen/

early 20 something. Black marker on melons back

then, 99 cents! Hot green peppers, twisty, cellophane-wrapped

beauties. ...Bet they'd turn you on.

.

Oooh, yea, you in a produce apron with that fat black marker in hand, UNCAPPED.  Got me creaming just typing this.

(Now don't you go stealing my copy LOL)

[Mistress Kang]

When I think of Market Perving my brain only suggests things that would land me in jail.

E.g., eating that perfect peach right then and there.  Or, testing the veggies for proper size and firmness.

Like you just can't control yourself so you make your way behind the deli counter to slice that big ol' melon in half and stick yourself in it?

I once heard a joke about how hard it is to break the seal on a new jar of peanut butter with a hard-on.  Funny stuff.

[Manpeach]

E.g., eating that perfect peach right then and there.

That's barbaric!

[loveinthetimeofcollaring]

Me myself I use chopsticks.  They're slippery little suckers, improves my death grip ;-)

Now the question is: who's luckier, the chopsticks or the M&Ms? Though I'm guessing things work out where you're the luckiest of all :]

[Mistress Kang]

That's barbaric!

Reminds me of this bit (especially @ 7:13 - 7:30)-

 

[Mistress Kang]

That would be the weirdest way for a possible co-worker to identify you on this forum LOL

"How do you like them apples"  One of my elementary school teachers used to say that all the time.  Was over my head at the time.  I just thought she was a weird white lady who kept Kleenexes in her sleeves.

 

That's THE knife.  No plate because I cut this "at the office" (LOL) I wasn't about to carry a plate to work with me- that' just *weird* and I'm no weirdo.

 

Just the exciting parts, ready?

 

Getting closer...

 

So delicious, smell my burp.

 

Two paper towels because the first one is for the fruit-remnants ;-)

[Dannyboy]

That would be the weirdest way for a possible co-worker to identify you on this forum LOL

Perhaps but I will explain via other channels.

 

Dannboy

[JENNIFER2.0]

I see this as a huge benefit   I love rituals......when directed..

[tommygermany]

Do you eat Snickers bars with a knife too, Mistress Kang?

I saw a tv report, that there's a restaurant, where they

sell mars and snickers fried like chicken tenders...

and the customers love it...

 

they eat it with knife and fork, too...

it would be to hot to hold them in hands...