Mistress Vivian Lu Posted April 15, 2015 Report Share Posted April 15, 2015 I have so many questions on gender identity as it is a truly fascinating subject. Oh boy, here we go: how do you identify in terms of gender and sexual identity? With more openness to talking about lgbt issues, many categories have been named in the past couple of years. Do you think your gender identity can fit into a label? Are you decidedly one or do you think it might change someday? Do you think kink is part of your gender identity? Here are some identities (feel free to give other answers as well) Heterosexual Heteroflexible Bisexual Homosexual Pansexual Asexual Demisexual Sapiosexual Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joey Posted April 17, 2015 Report Share Posted April 17, 2015 heterosexual. even though I have had sessions with ts Asian dommes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
loveinthetimeofcollaring Posted April 17, 2015 Report Share Posted April 17, 2015 Fun question that should produce some interesting answers. I don't exactly know the term that describes me, but it's probably heteroflexible. When it comes to overall physical characteristics, I absolutely favor women over men. Men's physiques, faces, voices etc do nothing for me. Cocks though... I'll admit, those can be pretty great. It's too bad they're attached to men and not women. Strap-ons can be somewhat of a proxy there, but I am still intensely curious about what it's like to service / give pleasure to the actual thing. I guess there are ladyboys and what not but (A) I don't foresee such encounters in my future ( at least from what I've seen, the ladyboy cocks aren't terribly impressive... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bambithebimbo Posted April 19, 2015 Report Share Posted April 19, 2015 As a sissy cuckold, I would say it's up to my mistress. I guess that makes me a heteroflexible:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dannyboy Posted April 20, 2015 Report Share Posted April 20, 2015 Dear Ms. Lu: When I originally became aware of these things there was no such concept as "gender identity" since people were either normal or (forgive me) queer. Bi-sexual became a middle of the road term which came across more as a half-hearted concession to being homosexual. I've also heard the term "metrosexual' which suggests that the influences of a big city makes one explore everything and everyone without judgement from peers while one's counterpart on the farm would have to be content fucking his sister or a cow in the pasture, both actions being regionally acceptable. Enough levity. I would describe myself as a heterosexual. As to the other terms, I might look them up when I have nothing better to do. Dannyboy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistress Tran Posted April 20, 2015 Report Share Posted April 20, 2015 This is a fascinating topic because I think BDSM definitely is intertwined with gender and sexual identity. For me, in the basic terms I consider my "gender" identity as a female, sexual identity as "hetero-flexible/bi-curious" , and my BDSM identity as Dominant "Conscious" Sadist. I do find that my kinky/dominant tendencies do apply to both men and women. Reminds me of this dog tumbler I look at sometimes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistress Fei Posted April 20, 2015 Report Share Posted April 20, 2015 I have so many questions on gender identity as it is a truly fascinating subject. Oh boy, here we go: how do you identify in terms of gender and sexual identity? With more openness to talking about lgbt issues, many categories have been named in the past couple of years. Do you think your gender identity can fit into a label? Are you decidedly one or do you think it might change someday? Do you think kink is part of your gender identity? Here are some identities (feel free to give other answers as well) Heterosexual Heteroflexible Bisexual Homosexual Pansexual Asexual Demisexual Sapiosexual i identify as female and heterosexual. i find it easy to appreciate the beauty of a girl and say she's hot or attractive, but that doesn't necessarily mean that i'm attracted TO her i always wonder though, if it's just a habit that i am attracted TO men and perhaps within finding a girl attractive, I am also attracted to her So I guess, although not on your list, I am a curiously-bicurious haha definitely attracted to intelligence and individuals in an intellectual/spiritual way, would that make me sapio/pan? i have heard that most dommes are bisexual! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustAGuy Posted April 21, 2015 Report Share Posted April 21, 2015 Cool topic Mistress Lu! I identify as male heterosexual, as dull as that sounds here. The only caveat is I love strap-on play. A male friend (who doesn't know I am into that) once told me, "I don't care what a straight guy is into doing with a girl, unless he's into strap-ons. Then you just need to admit you're gay." And I have to say that if you look for femdom strap-on stuff online, you keep finding videos where a domme says she's going to "pimp you out to gay men." It irritates me to no end, I just want to yell, "can't a straight guy just be into girl's with strap-ons!" definitely attracted to intelligence and individuals in an intellectual/spiritual way, would that make me sapio/pan? I'm not sure if I really get sapiosexual as an orientation, but I have always been into smart women! I remember in high school, if I knew a pretty girl (yeah, I was superficial about good looks, but it was high school) did better than me on a math test or science test, it made my heart beat faster! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VirginslaveboyKK Posted April 21, 2015 Report Share Posted April 21, 2015 I would say that I'm bisexual as I wouldn't be opposed to having sex with a man, but I don't actively seek out men nor do I find myself attracted to them. I'm definitely heteroromantic that way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Outcast Posted April 21, 2015 Report Share Posted April 21, 2015 I'm hetero generally , but what's that joke.....if you paint 10 paintings some still might not call you a painter, but if you suck just one cock......... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistress Vivian Lu Posted April 21, 2015 Author Report Share Posted April 21, 2015 Ah I love reading these replies! I would say for myself that I am heteroflexible as I have in the past been attracted to women, though if heterosexuality and homosexuality are two opposite ends of a sexuality spectrum, I am closer to being hetero than I am to being in the middle. There is something particular about owning and playing with men that turns me on astronomically. I learned that the ancient Greeks and Romans followed the standard paradigm of marrying and being in heterosexual couples, but would have socially acceptable same sex encounters. Sexuality was not conceptualized then, and wasn't really done so until relatively recently! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
questionmarks Posted April 21, 2015 Report Share Posted April 21, 2015 This is a very interesting topic, Mistress Lu, and of course very relevant and prevalent in our time. (And I love your answer, Mistress Fei!) I am a straight man. That's always been clear to me, even when I've found being a straight man confusing. I really appreciate that uncertainty and flexibility are becoming more accessible to society-at-large, and I find it important for someone like me to recognize and understand the diversity of experience and identity out there, but it's also important for someone like me, who is engaged in that discourse (I'm an academic), to acknowledge and own my own fairly traditional identity. As for kink, I'm still working out the way that fits into my identity My time with Mistress Koi feels so natural that I have a hard time believing anyone could want anything else... or at least that there's anyone who wouldn't enjoy the same. There are times when I think I've just happened to give pain, submission, and the like, a shot, and anyone who could try it with openness would find it fun and exciting and intimate like I do. But... I guess not everyone would get the same thrill I get when my girlfriend traces the last fading lines of the tic-tac-toe board Mistresses Koi and Fei inscribed on my back a few months ago... So I guess if asked by someone I trust, I'd say I'm a straight man with a sub side who's a little bit of a masochist. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustAGuy Posted April 23, 2015 Report Share Posted April 23, 2015 I learned that the ancient Greeks and Romans followed the standard paradigm of marrying and being in heterosexual couples, but would have socially acceptable same sex encounters. Sexuality was not conceptualized then, and wasn't really done so until relatively recently! I read somewhere that being in a male homosexual relationship was not stigmatized in Greece, but there was stigma attached to being the..."female" partner. Don't know how else to say it...the pitcher was fine but the catcher was considered something less than manly. It made me wonder if the same thing applied to lesbian couples, but I never found an answer on that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WaywardPoet Posted April 23, 2015 Report Share Posted April 23, 2015 Interesting question, I think we should all ask ourselves this from time to time. It can change for a person.So here are a few notes about me... My partner choice until now has been women, and by "women" I mean women... I do not go around chasing 19-year-olds just so I can say I did it. Maturity is sexy! I sometimes fantasize and promise myself to become more hetero-flexible, but I somehow always end up staying with just the hetero for a little while longer. As for the activities, I feel I am slowly (too slowly?) going toward the "pan-" approach. I try new things with new partners and almost always like it. Empathy toward your partner's fetishes is a powerful tool with which to build good sex and intimacy. These two things, partner choice and activities - sometimes they mix... An activity can challenge gender roles. Strapons are one obvious (and fun!) way of doing it but I think femdom in general is a defiance of the old gender stereotypes. Many other little things, clothes, jewelry, way of speaking can help mix up gender stereotypes. And maybe by doing this in the bedroom, we can start getting rid of these stereotypes from society. I like the idea of sapiosexuality... but in addition to being attracted to women's heads, I am also attracted to their hearts and it adds a lot to a woman if she also has a spine. All of this is me as I am now. I promise to change in the future. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistress Zhao Posted April 24, 2015 Report Share Posted April 24, 2015 I like turtles Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistress Zhao Posted April 24, 2015 Report Share Posted April 24, 2015 Just kidding. I'm not reptile-sexual, unless you count that one time with that albino boa.. Definitely 100% female. Hetero-flexible 30% Sapio-sexual 50% Sex with females is very enjoyable but I admit that I don't seek it out as much in real life as in my head. And the idea of sex with a transexual is also super erotic and arousing, but so many of the trans people (M-F) that I've met do not have the type of personalities that attract me. So perhaps that leads me to be Pan-sexual 10% and Bi-sexual 10% I'm also in agreeance with the five bullet points mentioned by WaywardPoet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dogzilla Posted April 25, 2015 Report Share Posted April 25, 2015 I hope Bruce Jenner chimes in on this thread! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistress Vivian Lu Posted April 25, 2015 Author Report Share Posted April 25, 2015 It seems quite common for men to enjoy being pegged but still remain completely heterosexual in their preferences for partners. I'm not sure if there currently exists any one word or category to accurately describe that in terms of sexual identity. Not that we need one, but I wonder if it will pop up in the future! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dogzilla Posted April 25, 2015 Report Share Posted April 25, 2015 It seems quite common for men to enjoy being pegged but still remain completely heterosexual in their preferences for partners. I'm not sure if there currently exists any one word or category to accurately describe that in terms of sexual identity. Not that we need one, but I wonder if it will pop up in the future! Being pegged is the ultimate form of submission. Here are some potential candidates for names that describe males who like pegging: = ) Pokosexual Pegosexual Subiosexual Dildosexual Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anubis Posted May 1, 2015 Report Share Posted May 1, 2015 Male heterosexual switch, I think I could be flexible when it comes to some kinky activities though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistress Rey Posted May 11, 2015 Report Share Posted May 11, 2015 I would identify as 90% dominant, 10% submissive. Primarily sapiosexual. I am only interested when someone reveals a beautiful, thinking mind. I appreciate beauty but I would admire from a distance. It doesn't move me to know more the way intelligence does. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Trouble Baby Posted May 15, 2015 Report Share Posted May 15, 2015 Strictly heterosexual. I must admit that while seeing two men making out grosses me out, seeing two attractive women do it can be arousing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fistluvr Posted May 16, 2015 Report Share Posted May 16, 2015 Mostly heterosexual switch but could be bi if in a cuckolding threesome. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
live2service Posted May 16, 2015 Report Share Posted May 16, 2015 It's intriguing to hear how people identify, and how much (or little) it is informed by their sexual activities. It's also interesting to find out how quick we are to categorize each other according to our learned framework of sexuality. I identify as a male queer omnisexual switch (that's a mouthful, I know!) I'm in a relationship with a woman who identifies much like I do, except for the male & switch part. She has male and female lovers and so do I. Sometimes we share. We have a MTF lover, as well as an FTM play partner we see occasionally from out of town. When it comes to BDSM, my GF doesn't really get into it so she encourages me follow my bliss with others when it comes to subbing or Domming. So we're all over the place. I should say that I primarily identify as lucky, for finding someone like her to love. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dannyboy Posted May 17, 2015 Report Share Posted May 17, 2015 It's intriguing to hear how people identify, and how much (or little) it is informed by their sexual activities. It's also interesting to find out how quick we are to categorize each other according to our learned framework of sexuality. I identify as a male queer omnisexual switch (that's a mouthful, I know!) I'm in a relationship with a woman who identifies much like I do, except for the male & switch part. She has male and female lovers and so do I. Sometimes we share. We have a MTF lover, as well as an FTM play partner we see occasionally from out of town. When it comes to BDSM, my GF doesn't really get into it so she encourages me follow my bliss with others when it comes to subbing or Domming. So we're all over the place. I should say that I primarily identify as lucky, for finding someone like her to love. Live2..... Looks like you hit the jackpot. I remember the moment you crossed paths with Ms. Ahn at the dim sum. Be well. Dannyboy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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