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Safe Words


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The safe word has a specific, vital function in BDSM play, but beyond its function, there is it's form; it's meaning between the two in a D/S relationship. I recently watched a film called The Duke of Burgundy, about two women studying lepidopterology who enter a ritualistic D/S relationship. Their safe word came from their world of their studies: pinastri, the scientific name for an english moth. They could say this word anywhere (in university for example) and it wouldn't stir anyone's suspicion, but it had special meaning to them. 

 

Have you ever shared a special safe word- whether it had a double meaning, or double function? What safe words have you used at the Fortress? 

 

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In the story I wrote on the member's forum, the safe word used was "Fahrvergnügen" from the old Volkswagen ad, because it means "driving pleasure" and because no one would ever yell it under normal circumstances.

 

Mistress Kang gave me a safe phrase once.  Not sure if it's ok to share...the phrase didn't mean anything to me but I shamed myself by having to use it (though to be fair, she gave it to me in the middle of a scene because I think she was already starting to sense that I was in over my head a bit).

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Well Mistress Rey.....my first trip to the Fortress, Mistress Tran and Mistress Jung gave me a safe word so long and complicated, I couldn't remember it if I studied for a week. On subsequent visits (all with Mistress Tran), I have never been asked about a safe word, nor have I ever felt the need for one. I totally get that safe words have an important place in bdsm play. However, it is a wonderful feeling to have such trust in a Mistress that you reach a point that a safe word is never discussed.

 

What are some if the safe words you like to use Mistress Rey? I bet you have some very creative ones!!

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"Banana Hammock" is the safe word Mistress Choi gave me a few years ago.  She thought of it while she was tying this banana up into a hammock. I've never used it. I did say 'banana' one time just to see if she was paying attention. 

 

While I never used my safe word, I did stop a session once by pleading and begging. The mistress stopped, which in hindsight, I am disappointed that she did. I mean isn't that the point of safe words, that you can beg and plead and they won't stop?

 

One of my favorite spots in the summer is the hammock in my yard.  Honey,  "I'm going out to the banana hammock for awhile" 

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I tend to enjoy giving subs safe words that are seemingly ridiculous or hard to remember - if only so when they do come around to needing to use it as they howl in pain away (and somehow they always do!) they wish they'd paid more attention to what it was! :P

Don't be cruel!!

 

Dannyboy

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I tend to enjoy giving subs safe words that are seemingly ridiculous or hard to remember - if only so when they do come around to needing to use it as they howl in pain away (and somehow they always do!) they wish they'd paid more attention to what it was! :P

Thats Evil!  I love it. 

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I like the idea of a safe word but its not necessary.  For me I would want to have to be forced say it over and over and over before the mistress would stop.

 

One of the best memories of my last session at the Fortress was begging M Kang to Stop repeatedly and she didn't.  The thought of her doing what she wanted and enforcing her will on me is getting me worked up even as I write this.  The other thing she did, while we played, was say "Ok, just one more." It's never ever "just one more."  Thats so hot!

 

So, in my opinion, a safe word should be used sparingly.  

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Have you all seen this Portlandia sketch? It's a misunderstanding, but a hilarious one:

 

 

Cacao to cacao. If the safe word were indeed used to express discomfort or uncertainty it would not only be redundant, but, more importantly, paralyzing.

 

I quite like being assigned a safe word, even though I prefer not to use it. I feel I am disappointing my Mistress if I utter it, and pulling away from her. It is good, especially for a newbie like me, to have a kill switch, but I find the subtler function of the safe word much more important and elegant. I remember shaking my head in fearful anticipation of a particular punishment towards the end of my first session with Mistress Koi (and ever)—I couldn't stop myself from saying no even though I did not want to stop her. The fact that we had a safe word meant I was safe to do the former without causing the latter, and she was safe to disregard—or better to savor—my fear and my submission. 

 

We brim with contradictions. We speak and act as if it is possible to be singular and consistent, but we all know that we teeter between multiple selves, multiple and mutually exclusive needs and desires, and a worldview that fluctuates even as we proclaim it. A session in the Fortress is a rare opportunity to experience and honor such contradictions by holding—or undergoing—contradictory urges in one moment. To feels one's body recoiling at the sight and sound and sensation of a woman's blows, and yet to look upon her with desire and devotion, and to stretch one's recoiling limbs as wide as one can to become a better target for her. Perhaps not everyone experiences such things the same way I do. Anyway, for me, the safe word is one of the many key elements making it possible to give myself over so fully—not just to my Mistress, but to my own contradictions.

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Jayman, Questionmarks, 

 

I appreciate reading how you regard the safe word, and how you use it sparingly. 

 

Sometimes people don't understand that using the safeword repeatedly can diminish it's value and lose meaning in a relationship, so when should be playing a vital role in a scene, it lost it's ability to do so. 

 

P.S. Jayman, I agree complying to "just one more" is very hot. You thought you have reached your limit, but she pushes you further. She's very good at expanding your limits!

 

 

I like the idea of a safe word but its not necessary.  For me I would want to have to be forced say it over and over and over before the mistress would stop.

 

One of the best memories of my last session at the Fortress was begging M Kang to Stop repeatedly and she didn't.  The thought of her doing what she wanted and enforcing her will on me is getting me worked up even as I write this.  The other thing she did, while we played, was say "Ok, just one more." It's never ever "just one more."  Thats so hot!

 

So, in my opinion, a safe word should be used sparingly.  

 

 

Have you all seen this Portlandia sketch? It's a misunderstanding, but a hilarious one:

 

 

Cacao to cacao. If the safe word were indeed used to express discomfort or uncertainty it would not only be redundant, but, more importantly, paralyzing.

 

I quite like being assigned a safe word, even though I prefer not to use it. I feel I am disappointing my Mistress if I utter it, and pulling away from her. It is good, especially for a newbie like me, to have a kill switch, but I find the subtler function of the safe word much more important and elegant. I remember shaking my head in fearful anticipation of a particular punishment towards the end of my first session with Mistress Koi (and ever)—I couldn't stop myself from saying no even though I did not want to stop her. The fact that we had a safe word meant I was safe to do the former without causing the latter, and she was safe to disregard—or better to savor—my fear and my submission. 

 

We brim with contradictions. We speak and act as if it is possible to be singular and consistent, but we all know that we teeter between multiple selves, multiple and mutually exclusive needs and desires, and a worldview that fluctuates even as we proclaim it. A session in the Fortress is a rare opportunity to experience and honor such contradictions by holding—or undergoing—contradictory urges in one moment. To feels one's body recoiling at the sight and sound and sensation of a woman's blows, and yet to look upon her with desire and devotion, and to stretch one's recoiling limbs as wide as one can to become a better target for her. Perhaps not everyone experiences such things the same way I do. Anyway, for me, the safe word is one of the many key elements making it possible to give myself over so fully—not just to my Mistress, but to my own contradictions.

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Jayman, Questionmarks, 

 

I appreciate reading how you regard the safe word, and how you use it sparingly. 

 

Sometimes people don't understand that using the safeword repeatedly can diminish it's value and lose meaning in a relationship, so when should be playing a vital role in a scene, it lost it's ability to do so. 

 

P.S. Jayman, I agree complying to "just one more" is very hot. You thought you have reached your limit, but she pushes you further. She's very good at expanding your limits!

 

Dito Mistress Rey!

 

I would use a safe word only at my very breaking point.

 

I always want my limits pushed. Anything else, to me, is mundane.  During a session I want the mistress to see how much of her will, wrath and molestations I can bear.  To show her my devotion through my ability to endure whatever twisted, perverted, wallop her sadistic mind chooses to inflict.  It thrills and arouses me to think of how much of a mistresses brute force I would be able to sustain.

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About a year ago I had my first double dom session with Mistresses Jung and Xiao who roleplayed as high-school seniors to my high-school freshman. The word, or rather phrase, I had to say was "I'm a cum dumpster, I was rather inexperienced at the time...

 

Haha nice one.... Ill remember that!

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What was happening?

Thanks of asking Mistress Rey

 

It was early in a session with Mistress Zhao and Mistress Choi. I am usually nervous staring off, I hadn't yet settled down into the session. My breathing was still a little too rapid.  MZ & MC had me upright on my knees on the bench. My cock was tied to the bench and MC was tying my legs. MZ had drawn my arms behind my back and bound them. She then took a rope to the rack and started bring them up higher and away from my body. I was in a comfortable position, although, having to support myself upright while on my knees was getting tiring. My arms being brought back behind me was reducing my ability to take in air and this was slowly wearing me down (much like a crucifixion MZ told me later).  the room got a little fuzzy and I could feel myself swaying. I didn't mind the possibility of fainting, but in this position I was sure to fall quite a distance. And, with my cock tied up, who knew what was going to happen to it like that. I decided it would be best to give them a warning that I might go under. 

 

MZ & MC responded immediately and professionally. MZ kneeled behind me for support and MC undid the ropes. They had me down and safe in no time. This was also a head-cam session and I was wearing a hood, which also restricted my breathing.

After a few minutes, we resumed the session with other, less strenuous activities. I do have the session from the head cam video though it never went to clips-4-sale. 

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I tend to enjoy giving subs safe words that are seemingly ridiculous or hard to remember - if only so when they do come around to needing to use it as they howl in pain away (and somehow they always do!) they wish they'd paid more attention to what it was! :P

Beautiful Ms Koi

Ms Zhao once gave me a safe phrase "I'm a fag"

Then Ms Choi extended it to "I'm a cocksucking faggot"

Ms Jung liked it as well

I have a session with u coming up

I really want u to push my training to the brink

Hope I won't use a safe word

But pease pick one u like?

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Beautiful Ms Koi

Ms Zhao once gave me a safe phrase "I'm a fag"

Then Ms Choi extended it to "I'm a cocksucking faggot"

Ms Jung liked it as well

I have a session with u coming up

I really want u to push my training to the brink

Hope I won't use a safe word

But pease pick one u like?

 

Clever way to make you humiliate yourself :)

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